From the third annual Alzheimer's Foundation of America conference (AFA) ICAN comes the not so surprising news that children in sandwich families generally become caregivers for their grandparents. An article about the survey titled "New Alzheimer's disease survey reveals children of sandwich caregivers assist with loved ones' care," gives some interesting insights and statistics.
According to the survey, "Investigating Caregivers' Attitudes and Needs Survey suggest that Alzheimer's disease care is a family affair. Most "sandwich caregivers" - the parents or guardians of children under 21 who also care for an aging parent, other relative or friend with Alzheimer's disease - say their children are assisting with caregiving responsibilities that range from attending doctors' appointments to feeding and dressing their loved ones."
When my grandmother came to live with us (long ago), I was a teenager. It was a given that I was one of Grandma's caregivers. She tried her best to contribute to the family, and was able to do some things, but for the most part, she was the one who needed help. I had an older brother and a toddler sister (no one between).
A few years ago, my now adult sister reminded me that I'd started my caregiving career as a twelve-year-old, the day she came home from the hospital. It hadn't really registered with me in that way - it was just a part of my life.
However, when I think about it, I remember the responsibility I felt when I was home alone with my toddler sister and my crippled grandma. Grandma didn't have Alzheimer's disease, but her mind was slowing down and she was severely crippled by rheumatoid arthritis.
I didn't resent the responsibility, but I felt it keenly. I worried about what I would do if my little sister needed help at the same time Grandma did. Now that I think about it, that combination of responsibilities was a big deal for a kid. My brother wasn't around much, as he was working or in school. And, of course, I was the girl, so it made sense (in those days) that I would be the one responsible, when my parents were gone.
I spoke to a group of college students just last week. They use my book, Minding Our Elders, as a text in their gerontology class, so I make a visit each spring to chat with the class. The first year I spoke to the class, I was surprised at how many of those students, who have chosen some type of gerontology as a career, have already been caregivers for their grandparents.
Since that first year with the students, I haven't been surprised at all. Every year is much the same as the one before. A large percentage of the students have been part of a family caregiving team.
One wonderful young lady told me last week that she doesn't even remember her grandma without Alzheimer's. We joked that there should be a place in the "Guinness Book of World Records" for her grandma, who seems to have had Alzheimer's for twenty years. However, this young woman was passionate about caregiving for elders and she adores her grandma.
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