Why You Can’t Parent a Parent

by Carol Bradley Bursack
Thursday, December 07, 2006

Carol Bradley Bursack Caregiver Author and Eldercare Columnist Elder care columnist, author and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack... Send Message Subscribe

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I’ve been asked to speak to a group about “parenting your parents.” I do a lot of public speaking and the people who ask mean well. This particular phrase is often used and is a kind of shorthand for what happens when we have to start making decisions for our elders. I have begun to ask that ...

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Untitled Comment
Sue
Tuesday, January 09, 2007 at 03:37 PM
I have thought that to myself so many times. Often people say to me (that obviously don't understand what it's like to have a parent with AD) 'It's just like having a child'. No, it's not and I cringe every time someone says those words. You've hit the nail on the head. Thank you.
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Why you can\
Anonymous
Tuesday, August 21, 2007 at 03:06 PM

Well written article. I've been a care giver to my mom for 7 1/2 years now. She is joy to take care of. I always tell her that she is not a burden to me. And I know she understands that. And as the last paragraph says It's payback timeto a wonderful mother who took care of us. And though it's difficult at times I wouldn't change it.

Phyllis Colbert
New York

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re: Why you can\
Carol Bradley Bursack
Tuesday, August 21, 2007 at 04:54 PM

I hope you can keep your mom convinced she's not a burden. I tried my best, to do that with all of the elders I cared for. it isn't easy. They know it's hard work (usually), to care for them, even if they can't express it. We do it for love, and yes, it can be hard. We also do it with respect, for they are our elders. Thanks so much for validating my feelings.
Carol

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