Baby Talk and “Elderspeak” Disturbingly Related

Carol Bradley Bursack is Answering questions Caregiver Author, blogger and eldercare columnist For over twenty years author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley... Send Message Subscribe: Carol Bradley Bursack

Saturday, August 02, 2008
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"Here you go, Hon. Anything else?" Though cringing inwardly, I smile outwardly and say, "No thanks." The waitress, perhaps in her early thirties, is just trying to be nice to me. I understand that. I happen to be a small person, rather short, tiny bones - the kind of person where, when ...

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Here you go, Hon. Anything else?
Able-Mart.com
Wednesday, August 06, 2008 at 08:26 AM

Yes, it's very irritating. I don't look my age, but still it's irritting when someone half my age talks to me like this. I can see how it would irritate someone who has already given up a lot of personal power and finds themself in a nursing home.

re: Here you go, Hon. Anything else?
Carol Bradley Bursack
Wednesday, August 06, 2008 at 09:16 AM

I think it's a matter of perception, and changing times. I remember my Aunt hating it when they called her by her first name at the driveup teller window! She was in her 80s and used to Mrs.

However, when you look at an elder in decline, and then see them spoken to in ways often used for children, lights start to come on. It's not all black and while, but awareness is always good.

Thanks for your comment.

Carol

Elderspeak
Leah
Saturday, August 16, 2008 at 05:03 PM

I can fully relate to your sentiments about elderspeak and babytalk. I take offense whenever someone addresses in an informal manner which is too personal. My biggest peeve is having a young waitress or cashier or whoever address my husband and I as "you guys". I, too, cringe, and have to stop myself from from saying, "I am not a guy!"

Having gotten that out of the way must say that lately I have started referring to people as "Sweetie" and I HATE it! I don't know why I have started calling people I don't know that...I wonder if it's not that I have heard it so much myself that I just eased right into using the term. It is a habit I am ging to break! Thank you so much for this enlightening blog.

re: Elderspeak
Carol Bradley Bursack
Saturday, August 16, 2008 at 05:14 PM

I do think it's because we hear it so much it becomes normal. That's why I get "hon" and try not to judge people because of it. But I do think society needs to be aware of how this sounds as people get older. And it's more serious when they are in need of care. We have to watch our boundaries, and what we call people is part of that.

Best,

Carol

Untitled Comment
Floyd Ingle
Sunday, August 17, 2008 at 12:04 PM

Two years ago, at 65 I had a knee replacement. I was in what they termed "occupational therapy". A lady pushed me up to some flowers and said, as if I were an idiot; "Can you pick off the dead leaves." I shocked her when I responded with; "I may not be as smart as you, but I do have a 125 I.Q." Startled she responded with,"Oh! I'm sorry." <Br> Last year my 61 year old brother-in-law had a stroke and died 4 months later. I got fed up hearing the nurses talk to him. I told them he had perfect hearing and was an executive for an electric company and is far smarter than you'll ever be. They got the message and started to talk to him knowing he knew what was going on.

re: Untitled Comment
Carol Bradley Bursack
Sunday, August 17, 2008 at 01:50 PM

Good for you, Floyd! Most people don't intend it to sound as it does, but they need to realize it, when people feel "talked down to." Great answers from you!

Carol