Awareness of Personal Growth During Caregiving Can Help Caregiver Health

Wow Carol you hit it right where so many of us as caregivers are at. I started about three months ago trying to be better to myself and my body, I knew Ray was getting worse and if I didn't start taking better care of my self I would never be able to care for him. I went to the doctor and had a check up, not much he thought had changed, no xrays were taken though. Dentist next and had all the things done that I had put off, I hate going to the dentist, I have feared them for many years, truly a chicken when it came to going to the dentist but I did and found one that treats cowards. Then I went to the eye doctor, new glass and that was it. I have been trudging along thinking I had done all the right things to get better and take care of my self. Boy did I get it wrong, I got a cold didn't pay attention and it turned into the flu, and then Broncitis. Finally went to the doctor with it got an antibotic shot and oral antibotic's good to go right, wrong I had waited to long. I went back to the doctor because I was getting worse and the medicine had not worked. Another antibotic shot more oral antibotics and a chest xray. I was called to come in for a follow up and BAM emphysema. That diagnosis blew me out of the water and has really opened my eyes. Who ever reads this please get a complete check up xrays and all that goes with it. You get a cold straight to the doctor don't do what I did and just blow it off. As the primary care giver of my husband I get exhausted and don't sleep a lot. I ask my doctor to put me on an antidepressant when I realized I wasn't handling everything that is going on in my life as well as I thought. I will truly now care about what happens to me, I owe my husband and family no less but I also owe myself and that is a new revelation to me. I realized if I don't care about what happens with my body nobody else can. I will continue on caring for my husband but my heath has to come first or I cannot do this for him. Thank you for your share post and for the time you make for others. Connie

Carol, you are right, if we are so responsible, we would always think of the elderly in our mind all the time. Maybe not my husband who prefers to work and not thinking too much about his Dad until he has time. Maybe it is women who are more emotional about this. Even though it is my father-in-law, not my Dad or Mom, I still tend to think too much about my FIL. It is natural since we have been working on his finances and his old house and etc. Right now we are stuck fixing his old house with substandard wiring!! The workers are also adding stress. So many things to call attention.... The phone wire, the tree, the medications, the nurse, the food and on and on. Never ending stories....  Maybe I think too much about him. The thing is for now, almost every other day, something would happen in the house or he would complain and etc. Plus the home care is expensive. The market is bad... I would need to do something else to take my mind off it. I am sure this is educational - to care for him; but we need to balance things out to make sure we are ok so someone will take care of him. It is worse for us as my hubby has a small family on his side and we  got no siblings to help out for his Dad. My side's family has many people but they are not on his side although my folks helps me with lots of tips.

I would need God to help me and give us more strength!!

Take care,

Nina

Hi Carol.  As I was reading your post I kept thinking, "when did it become ok to NOT consider being a caregiver to those older than us?".  I guess with the change of how we function as a society; a nation.  Not certain.  It just seems like there are sooo many choices these days - in home, eldercare-facility, etc.  I supposed with increased life expectancies and other changing demographic issues, we see the other ways to help loved ones. 

It is true different people require different care solutions.  I just wonder when it stopped being "part of life" to be a caregiver.

All the best, sue

Here are a few "caregiving" related links:

Caregiving Tips for Alzheimer's Disease

Medicare Wants to Help

Caregiving? What's in a Word?