National Family Caregivers Month Is a Great Month to Read About Caregiving

I can't remember how many times I begged siblings for help in caregiving to no avail.  So, indeed, I decided to take care of myself:  after drawing up a list of all the important phone numbers, diagnoses and pertinent info regarding my parents who were in my sole care, I went on a 12-day vacation with my husband and warned the rest of the family that we would be unavailable by phone or email.  Sometimes drastic circumstances require drastic actions.  The vacation sure was fun!

It is nice to know that Nov. is the month. I often wonder that since today lots of families have previous marriages and stepchildren and etc, lots of families actually are in the middle of trying to bond togehter to help or fighting against one another in the battle of the rights of caregiving.

I guess it is sad that some families are split like that and often it is the family of the latest marriage that helps out. I wonder sometimes if it is possible for everyone to help out? It is time for all memebers of the family or step family to realize that caregiving for a dementia family member is a lot of work and that everyone should try to help one another or at least be understanding or supportive. Especailly when both marriages have the same father or mother who has dementia.

In our case, my husband's stepbrother is sort of there to call his Dad from a long distance in the home country in Europe. But lately he cannot offer more than that. We also decide that his Dad cannot travel back to his home country anymore because he is too confused. His elder son has health issues also. The sad thing is the family was not bonded well before he got sick, so it is more distanced now. This elder son has never seen him again in 45 years and his Dad has never gone back to the country for 45 years.... His Dad is a bit antisocial and extreme so he really has never known his elder son closely. They wrote each other a lot and call often.

I myself don't have the experience of many previous marriages in the family, and I realized some previous marriage actually cut off the contact and etc.

Perhaps it is the fate of the person with dementia: if he never bothered to be closer to his child from the previous marraige, then they will never be close. It takes 2-way street. Can we really say the previous marriage's family is bad?
Since we never know what is to come for our own future when we may get very sick and need care, we need to have peace with family members early on. 

Sometimes I believe that the caregiving needs long-term planning. Not the insurance, but the true love in the family. When we wait until it is too late to do that, it is really too late and difficult.

All the best,

Nina

Thank you Carol again you are right on the mark about Alzheimer's and giving out as much information as possible to Alzheimers patients and their care givers. I too think that this month is the perfect time to get people more aware and more involved. I am trying to get our local paper to do a story about my husband and also I want to get this site some PR I know I am not the only one fighting this battle with this disease, I want to try to get other people to be able to find and use this site, it has helped me more then anyone knows but I know there has to be many more out there. They need this. What better time then National Alzheimers month to get the message out there. Thank you Connie