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You always seem to know just what's going on in our family! Fortunately my siblings don't have a problem visiting a nursing home facility (though they'd rather not if given the choice), but adult grandchildren and great grandchildren certainly do. Am I expecting too much? I really would like to send them this article but am afraid it may alienate them even more. Thanks for bringing all these issues to light and suggesting good solutions.
Yeah, I read minds :)
Actually, this is why support from caregivers who have "been there" works. We know what it's like.
It was very hard for my teenagers to visit their beloved grandparents after dementia set in. Think about how hard it is for adults. They did it, but it was painful. I maybe should have insisted on more visiting from them, but I did want them to keep their fond memories, as they were so close to my parents when they were growing up.
I think you may be right that forwarding the article could cause bad feelings, as they will feel judged. But I also know the temptation! I guess you'll have to call that one.
Thanks for your encouragement. I do try to tackle issues that affect many of us at one time or another.
Carol
Carol,
I am glad I read this post now - I think I missed it last year.
It is true it is not about us or her or him. It is about these elders who have Alzheime'rs or dementia. However sometimes I wonder the relationship also counts. Imagine the child had a bad conflict or big argument with the father and the father was the one that initiated all the actions that left the child behind (right or wrong or to get more money or whatever motive.) Then the child fought back wrongfully and pissed off the second wife of this father. So the whole conflict started.
Well now this father has late Alzheimer's. What does this child do? Yes, he calls him a lot and writes him a lot. But the damage has been done and he never visited although he offered for his Dad to go there which was refused by his Dad.
I think he is doing the best. He is my husbnad's step brother from a previous marraige by my FIL.
Sometimes we have to think in their own shoes about why they don't see the elders.
I really wish all the children can visit their own parents when they are sick with demential or all kinds of diseases wherever the elders are.
Regards,
Nina
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Thank you Carol,
My sister has no problem visiting our Dad in his home.
However, our Dad has a sister, whom we have all loved and cherished. She is 9 years older than Dad. Aunt Sudie has been in an assisted living home nearly three years (Alzheimer's unit). My younger sister cannot go there. She has tried. I am forwarding this much needed information to my sister.
Your Expertise Is Genuinely Appreciated!
Kay
Thanks, Kay. It is very hard for some people, and we need to sympathize, but we can hope your sister can pay a visit. It will mean a lot.
Carol
Thanks, Kay. It is very hard for some people, and we need to sympathize, but we can hope your sister can pay a visit. It will mean a lot.
Carol