I believe a lot of reluctance to visit facilities comes from fear. People see a loved one in a facility setting, and subconsciously feel their own mortality. They may even consciously think, "This could be me, someday."
They don't want to deal with those thoughts, so avoidance seems to be the only answer. Thus, the cop-out, "I can't stand seeing them like that." Growing up means overcoming our fears, and the best way to overcome fear is knowledge.
Once an adult child manages one visit, all visits will become easier. Some people will always have a harder time than others, when it comes to viewing and coping with the frailty of a loved one. And some will always have a harder time wrestling with their own fears and their own mortality, which keeps them from confronting the issue by seeing a loved one in a nursing home or hospital. However, even adult children can grow in spirit, and when they are expected by their peers to suit up and show up at the care center, they just may pull it off.
For more information about Carol go to www.mindingourelders.com or www.mindingoureldersblogs.com.
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