Caregivers Often Suffer Unfounded Guilt

Carol, thanks for your post and it seems what I thought is nothing unusual. As a Christrian or Chinese, I know I should not have bad thoughts about the elderly but sometimes I would think it is less suffering for the person to leave the world and the demon (AD). Well I think it is both philosophical and stressful that some caregivers would be so tired that some bad/negative comments come out. The strange thing is my husband is less guilty as he is not really literally involved day in and day out, not that he does not talk to his Dad everyday. I think it is also the personality. My husband can just talk smoothly without any blame or whining in his Dad's face. The professional caregivers said they don't care because it is their job, so they don't take it personal. They never get very upset by the patient/my FIL either.

But like you said, some caregivers/family members do have stressful negative thoughts. Even my husband once said he would not want to live with his Dad although it is not the issue at all (it is the job situation that separate them both.)

It is true the help is needed but also I think it is not just the help, it is also the stress that has nothing to do with help. It is the situation that bugs me, for example, not that I need more help or anything. So to walk away and go have some fun myself and refresh myself helps. Maybe the caregivers who are stressful need to find the outlet to better themselves or relieve the stress outside of such care.

Take care,
Nina

Carol

This information is so important to so many caregivers. Thanks for posting it.  I know I am going to use it loads of times as a link in some of the shareposts I write.

Christine

As a caregiver doing my best to care for my loved one, once again, you have helped me and indirectly, the special family member I care for.

Carol, in your writings, you offer not just knowledge and information, but what makes it a real gift to readers, is that it is knowledge and information put into perspective.   That's it,.... information and knowledge into perspective.  That's the difference that sets you apart.

Thanks again, from both of us.

 **Thank you soooo much for addressing this issue!   Your timing was perfect!

I frequently find myself saying (to myself) how much I hate who I am on the

inside!

    I'm saving what you've written, & plan on re-reading it frequently!!  Thanks,

again!      Blessings!