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Tuesday, November, 24, 2009
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Why Clinics Need Unisex Bathrooms for Elders and Caregivers

Carol Bradley Bursack
Carol Bradley Bursack
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Carol Bradley Bursack is Answering questions
Author, blogger and eldercare columnist

For over twenty years author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley...

Carol Bradley Bursack

Tuesday, September 01, 2009
View All of Carol Bradley Bursack's Posts
"But I have to go to the bathroom," Dad said as he squirmed anxiously in his wheelchair. "You're wearing a pad, Dad," I said. "You can just go. There's no way for me to take you to the bathroom." "You want me to wet my pants? No! I can't. Take me to the bathroom," he insisted.   Dad and I we...
  1. Untitled Comment
    Leah
    Tuesday, September 01, 2009 at 01:23 PM

    I must admit that I hadn't thought about this until you mentioned it.  Upon more thinking, I realize that only one of my doctors have an internal bathroom, one which is big enough for what your needs were.  However, the toilet is a typical one with no helpful height aide for the handicapped.  How hard would it be for a building to have one handicap bathroom on each floor?  I guess it will take an act of Congress!  Have you thought of contacting your senator about this?  I am going to start looking and asking questions when I go to the other doctors' offices...

    Thanks for bringing this subject up!

    Leah

    Reply
    re: Untitled Comment
    Carol Bradley Bursack
    Tuesday, September 01, 2009 at 02:56 PM

    I just accepted it as the clinic was large and had plentiful bathrooms, but yes, Leah, someone needs to look into this! Maybe it's me?

     

    Best,

    Carol

    Reply
  2. speaking your mind is great
    helpt
    Thursday, September 03, 2009 at 10:04 PM

    i had'nt had that experience yet,but trust me you,you said a lot right there.i know doctors are docters but they need to really think of helping out the helpers.i wonder if anybody ever even hinted to them about this situation.we already have enough stress as it is and being the caregivers a little less to deal with would be a lot of help...its a wonder why people are how they are in dealing with life with something as simple as that.they could really do something about that.i really feel for you and for anybody to have to deal with this deliema.what can we do to solve this problem?

    Reply
    re: speaking your mind is great
    Carol Bradley Bursack
    Friday, September 04, 2009 at 08:09 AM

    Thanks for the kind reply. This problem could be solved, and is a lot better where there are "family bathrooms," but those are often in places made for children and may even have lower stools, which makes it even harder for an elder. Your support is appreciated.

    Carol

    Reply
  3. Opposite and Similar
    John S
    Friday, September 04, 2009 at 01:10 AM

    I think  may getting into the same situatiio pretty soon. I'm am male and a caretaker for my Mom. She is still mobile, but has started to have "accidents" lately. Not daily, but I have noticed it occurs when we are in an unfamiliar place an/or hae been out and about for a while.

     

    I would not be embarrased to go into a women's restroom, because it would be part of caring for my mom, I guess sort of lookng at it clinically. Just something I would have to do. I have also thought of taking her into the Men's room with me, but not sure what the reaction would be and if it would cuase a scene with managment.

     

    I am very uncomfortable letting her go into a public restroom, especially in a large place and even more so if there are 2 entrances/exits. Luckily at ths point if she doesn't see me when she walks out, she will stay where she is and wait. Unfortnately that leaves me frantic, when it seems to take longer than usual, and trying to find a good samaritan to look for her in the restroom. So far I've been able to find someone to help.

     

    I work at an airport where there are Family Restrooms besides the regular seperate Men's & Women's restrooms. Primarily used for parents to be abe to go into the restroom with their children, even if it's father-daughter or mother-son. This would be a very simple solution for caretakers of the opposite sex to assist in the restroom.

     

    Who do we need to petition and or contact t make this a standard feature in every public building. It should be standard like handicapped access bathrooms are. 

    Reply
    re: Opposite and Similar
    Carol Bradley Bursack
    Friday, September 04, 2009 at 07:57 AM

    Yes, there are some family restrooms for parents and children, so that is a step forward. If they are for one family only, they work well for our situation. However, there aren't enough. As for you going into a women's restroom with your mom, I'm sure it wouldn't bother you, but management may not allow it. As a woman, I would totally understand if that happened and I was in the restroom. There are stalls, for heavens sake!

     

     However, when my boys were little (there were no family restrooms then) and I was scared to let my little boys go to the men's room alone, I took them to the lady's room. You wouldn't believe the looks and comments I got when I was there with a 5-year-old boy! Family restrooms are a great option and they should be everywhere.

     

    Thanks for the note and all the best with your mom. I'm glad to know you are a man. Men need more credit as caregivers, as their numbers continue to climb.

     

    Take care and thanks for the insight,

    Carol

    Reply
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