Written by
I meant to say it is a virtue to serve the parents. It is to honor the parents. Even some birds do that for life!
Perhaps sometimes it is about bad relationships. If the parents are really bad or criminals, then it may be another story. In general, we all need to care for or worry about our parents.
Nina
I also know that there is another type who wants the money after the parents die. These adult children would serve and caregive the parents with eager hands because they want to please them so they get most out of it. This is the other way of getting the inheritance but at least they take care of the parents.
Chinese values the elderly as treasure because of their legacies and memory/experiences. This does not mean we can ignore the parents due to the memory loss.
The other reason of looking down on the elders is about the value of life. These people also think such life is useless and should go for quality of life and so the elderly should not suffer and die quickly. My father-in-law's lady friend even told me in my face that my FIL should not live anymore due to AD (just her comment.)
Well, I will say be cautious when one talks about quality of life: is this about you don't like the way they live, or is this about you really care about them?
Nina
Yes, quality of life is tricky territory. That is one reason talking early with our adult chldren and putting it all down in writing is essential. We are all different. But caregivers should give as much quality of life to the person they care for a possible - for however long they live and in whatever manner that is.
Carol
Featuring Content From:
By using this service, you accept our Terms of Use. Please read them. The consumer health information on is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. You should promptly seek professional medical care if you have any concern about your health, and you should always consult your physician before starting a fitness regimen. Copyright © 2012 Remedy Health Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
It is so sad that some families have this problem. I feel for them.
Normally, if we forget about inheritance, we are still trapped sometimes between the care of the elderly and our own responsibilities. Sometimes the children or the single child has done more than he/she could have done, and so it is time to go to a nursing home. This is not just for best care of the elderly, but it is also to balance out for everyone so no one is stressed out and get sick.
It would be sad that one considers saving money for children instead of worrying about the best care for the elderly and such balance. It would be unthinkable that someone would treat the parent as some subject or ward. They are your parents and they have done a lot in their lives to support the adult children.
However, even if one does not have greed, it is hard enough to balance or know what is best for the elderly and the family. Well it is a virtue not to serve one's old parents and it is a moral responsibility to honor one's parents as the bible says!
I sure hope such greed is not involved for many families...
It is sad indeed.
Take care,
Nina