These public displays of what is deemed by society "inappropriate behavior" can be embarrassing to loved ones, and as in the case of driving, dangerous. However, the public needs to be educated enough about the disease that many of them will have when they get old, so that they can be helpful, even if that just means leaving the caregiver to handle the situation without their gawking.
When kids talk about their grandparents to friends, they generally have no problem admitting the grandparent uses a walker. But if Grandpa acts "weird" because he has dementia, the child or teen will likely not want friends to see him "like that." Even when adult children or well spouses talk to people about their ill parent or spouse, it's difficult to tell anyone but the closest friends that they are having a rough time because dementia has totally changed their loved one's personality.
There's something sacred about our personalities. Generally we want to present our best face to the public. With arthritis, heart problems and other diseases of aging, we may looked changed or even have to use props to get us from place to place, but our personalities remain mostly unchanged. When dementia steals or our loved one's personality, it seems so much more tragic. As with many mental illnesses, it's invisible to lookers on, and so there is no obvious explanation for odd behaviors. Thus people who have the disease are often kept under wraps by their well-meaning family.
It's only through the brave efforts of people like those mentioned above that the stigma of dementia will slowly decline. I applaud these people who would, from what I know of them, modestly say they aren't being brave, they are just being themselves. I applaud them for putting faces on Alzheimer's and other dementias - faces that front brilliant minds - as examples of those who have dementia. These are the people who will educate the masses and eventually, I hope, delete the stigma of the disease.
For more information about Carol go to www.mindingourelders.com or www.mindingoureldersblogs.com.
