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Hi, my husband continues to deteroriate I am finding it harder for my what I have called my time. I am continuing on with my mission to get this site out, I know in my heart that there are so many who are going through what we are and the worse it get here the more determined I am to get someone to listen to me and get this site public. My aunt has a friend who has a television station and I have ask to be able to advertise on it. It is a christian station and it will reach many and help them in their own battle with this disease. I still haven't heard from our news Paper and it puzzles me. This is National Alzheimers Awareness month and today is veterans day what better time to reach out to veterans and the retired military here then to do this to help others. My dear friends no matter what happens and no matter how much worse this is getting I promise you I will not be stopped it just makes my mission more urgent. We need to get people to understand this disease and ways to cope while going through it, it has been whispered about to long and the public needs to be educated that it's okay to ask questions and to not be afraid. I think for to long the public has had the wrong idea about this disease and it has to change. It is out there it can happen to you or your loved one and they need the tools to cope. This wonderful site has been the glue that has held me together. The friends I have made are all I have much contact with now as it becomes more difficult to see anyone. They don't come because they say it's to hard Yes it is but this is when you need your friends the most sadly I have to say my friends here are all I have right now, everyone else is gone on with their lives. This must stop, these people need to understand if ever your friend needed you this is the time they need you most and they need to face reality it could happen to them is this how they want to be treated, I know I would not but I will survive with the help of my friends here. Please if you have any suggestions write me I need all the help I can get to accomplish this and I will accomplish this. Thank you all so much you give me strength to carry on. Connie
Connie, you are right, this site needs to be told to many people. I could not find it until I ran into it in the internet. Well sometimes some people want privacy and don't like to tell other people about the site. But it is important for caregivers to know about this.
About friends, I think it is so tricky. My father-in-law has a lady friend who is not very positive. She even told us in our face while my FIL is there sitting in her sofa that she would not like to live like that and she would take pills if she were he and said where he lives is not living and where she is is living! This kind of insensitive stuff she said to us! My FIL could not understand anymore so she was able to talk about it outloud!
Well to me, maybe I would not want to live either if I were he, but I don't say it outloud like that! Esp. about the living thing she is talking about! How cruel to say where he is (his living room) is not living??? At least we do the best to give him home care and make his home cozy. But I think people are afraid of Alzheimers and dementia like it is a mental disease or shame. When people see that you are out of your mind, they just give up on you. It is human nature that people would not be sensitive until they are the victims themselves. How sad!
Nina
Hi Nina I am sorry but I would throw that woman out on the street, yes this is horrible yes this is difficult to watch but they are still in there. They do reach a stage that they can no longer talk and yes their mind wanders but I believe that for the most part this disease is a confusion and problem solving they can no longer do. It is the epitime of stupidity for someone to say that in front of him. Is she trying to encourage him to off himself. I worry that thought will cross my husbands mind. I don't know your religion nor is it my business but I believe taking ones life is a sin and goes against Gods plan. I am so sorry you have to deal with such a rude insenstive person, I would call her worse but it would serve no purpose. She is not helping him or you, and she needs to be shown the door. If he is where he dosen't understand any more then he will miss her some but she is doing more harm then good. I know I say it is sad when friends and family go away and it hurts but I would rather they not come if that is the kind of things they would say.
This very thing is why it is my goal in life to help other find this site. There is not enough education about this disease. I don't mean the medical stuff I mean the every day how to live what it how how to cope with it. You can only get that here. I have read so many journals and articles and anything I could get my hands on to help me understand and there is nothing but this site and living it sharing it and us all joining forces to get through this battle, and yes it is a battle, it has no rules it has no boundaries and things change daily. It affects each patient differently and each care giver different but we all share one bond we have a loved one with this disease and it is different everyday. Your friend in Texas. Connie
I think the assisted suicide or suicide is not the real issue here - it is harder than you think to kill oneself. The issue here is people feel that having alzheimers is not worth living and don't know how to deal with it. Usually people would just say they don't want to have Alzheimers. Some people are foolish enough to say they want to have it because they want to forget about the bad past experiences. But they have no idea what Alzheimers does to a person!
I believe in human rights and dignity and the people who are disabled, handicapped, chronically ill and mentally sick all deserve to be treated with dignity. To live or die is up to the person, and no one else has a right to terminate the life of the person. I don't approve that situation when the doctors dare claim the patient's life saying the life support should be pulled and etc. It is the family that has to deal with it, the doctors have no right to say they want to end the life and etc. There are so many issues on this in the news and some families have to sue the hospital to get the right of living!
Nina
Nina I to believe it is everyones right to chose when it is their time to go. I don't believe in suicide either. I have a living will and I think everyone should. I know though how difficult it is living with alzheimers, my first thought when this started was I would rather die then put my family through this. But I now see that this is all part of life and just want my husband to have as happy and dignified life as possible. He is still in there yes his mind deterates but he still loves, hurts and wants these last days with his loved ones. I am sorry if you took what I said wrong I didn't mean to hurt you I was just so appalled at what your FIL lady friend said. I truly meant no harm. I am just trying to survive this and it hurts when I hear other people being hurt by people saying bad things in front of someone that they think dosen't understand. I know what my husband feels and would be hurt by a comment like that. Many don't understand that even though they seem out of it they aren't always and words like that hurt and it is unnecessary. Again I am sorry if my comment offened you. Still learning and living with my loving husband with alzheimers. Please accept my apoligy. Connie
Connie, I am sorry you misread what I wrote. I just responded to you about this cases of suicide and etc. What you wrote was fine. Like you said, it is part of life and talking suicide or medical suicide serves no purpose. In reality, I think it is different with everyone. We all try the best to survive this.
Take care,
Nina
Thank you Nina,
I really appreciate you taking the time to write me. You and everyone I have met on this web site are really the friends I have and can share all that I am going through. It's so hard when all your friends leave when this strikes that I have come to depend on you all and your friendships and advise. I would be lost with out you all and I sometimes say or maybe share more then I should and I would not want to do that and never would intentionally say something hurtful. This is all so difficult but sharing and getting it out is so very important. You have your hands full and I know it's difficult to watch your loved be mistreated. If I can help please let me know. Thank you for your reaching out to me. Connie