My mother got up early and came into his room I could not speak of the spirits . Momma  and I kept washing Rays face and kissing him. I sat down in my chair and looked at him it was as if Gods hand passed over his face and all the pain and suffering was erased. I jumped out of my chair and rushed to his side I took him in my arms and told Momma he was going as she stood beside me as I held him in my arms. I kissed him as he took his last breathe and it felt as if he had feathered a kiss on my cheek. That was the last breathe my beloved husband took. He in my arms and Momma at my side.

I have prayed for God to take him swiftly and without pain. God answered my prayer and gave me one last kiss from my beloved.

I have promised Ray to help honor his memory I will stay on this site. This is the first time I have been able to share those last beautifuls moments of my husbands life.

I can not promise you all I can be here everyday just yet my heart is broken and I need time to heal. I wanted to share this with you all because you have all given me the glue that has held me together with my beloveds fight with this horrible disease Alzheimers. Ray did not go so quickly just because of the alzheimers he had many medical problems. I hope to by sharing our story to let you all know I thank you but also what I have learned about being the primary caregiver of a loved one with Alzheimers. This has been a long journey for me but one many of you still travel. If I can give you one thing it's love as long as you can, it's laugh as much as you can, it's talk to your loved one and never forget they are still there. They hear you and feel you. In Rays passing for a brief second with that kiss all the times the stranger struck out or was ugly it was all wiped away with one brief but precious kiss and that brief glimpse God gave me to show me the paradise we have all heard so much about.

My prayers were answered added to with the knowledege that they may seem as if they don't know you or they may act like a different person but when you hang in there God answers your prayers and you loved one is still there with you even when you think they don't know you. Keep loving them keep talking to them they do hear you and feel your love. I know because in those last few precious moments I was show he knew and felt all I had done before he left this earth.

Friends not all can keep your loved one with you as I did. That's Okay you each have to find your own way. I found mine, keep going don't give up. Talk to all of us we have lived it we have loved with it and we have suffered the loss of our loved one. You will find your way I promise you that stay here and let eveyone help you though this life of living with your loved one with Alzheimers. You can do it we will help.

Thank you dear friends. I will be here everday I may not be able to talk to all for just a for little while. But I will be reading all your posts and answer when I can. Take heart and may God Bless you all as he has me. Connie