Connie Moore

Health Interests

Alzheimers,  links to agent orange exposure,  emphesymia

Drugs I am Taking

n/a

About Me

I feel as if I have been here forever but I have not. I have made many friends over the years but they are now gone. Some left after my husband lost his legs. Why because we are retired military and our friends were too, they spent almost the same tours in Vietnam with my husband, they were exposed to the same chemical ageant orange. They watched his health decline and then him lossing his legs. I use to ask why no one came any more until I was told their husbands couldn't handle seeing Ray without legs for fear it would happen to them. A few hung in there for a while but as his health has declined so have the friends. Now Alzheimers and my friends are now in this computer or the stores we use to shop in and everyone that saw this man accept the loss of his legs with such dignity it was amazing and inspiring to all who met him. Everytime I went some where I was ask where is Ray some have even ask sadly has he died, no he hasn't but our life has changed so dramatically. I have poured out my heart to so many of you as you who are now my friends and the glue that holds me together with the wonderful help of our grand daughter. It's so sad that it has come to this, don't people get it. Friends and family run from this disease, some don't most do. I have tried sending brochures, books and no reaponse. How can we live in such a modern society and people be so uninformed about this disease. In so many ways it is treated as AYDS was, if you get close you might catch it. You feel as if you can the 24/7 of a primary care givers life is hard, lonely and tiring. 11-9-08 is the day my worst fears came true, Ray is forgetting time and place and people. He has become a recluse in his room. I went out for 2 1/2 hours on Sunday. I told him where I was going and told him when I would be back, I kissed him bye and left. I returned cooked his food, he ate dinner and was watching tv, I had laid down on the couch and at about 7:30 he started screaming my name, thinking the worst I ran to his room where I found this proud handsome man shaking and crying, He ask why I left him, I told him I hadn't left the house since early that morning and we had talked about where I had gone. Until that night everything seemed the same but he did appear more nervous that day, I was so shocked to find him in that condition I didn't know what to do other to hold him in my arms and assure him I was there and not to worry I would not leave him. I have known this day was coming but I had prayed not yet. He has changed so dramatically, the mood swings grow worse and when I try to open a door to even check the mail he is right there wanting to know where I am going. I have not left this house since Sunday. I have been going on six hours sleep for a while now but now it's down to four. I know I can't keep doing this but until I get this figured out I have to. I know the end is nearing he told me on the 31st that he would die from the congestive heart failure before the alzheimers because the pain is bad and it is getting harder to breathe. I know it's time for hospice and I am trying to get there. Thank you my dear friends I know you will always be here when I am not sleeping as I am watching over Ray. This is hard and I am tired but please know you all give me strength. Moving on into the hardest part of this disease, the strength to let go and ask for help but I know I have to do this for him and for me. Thank you, living and loving my husband with Alzheimers in Texas. Connie