A Son's Love

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and pain with us.  Our community is here to help as much as we can with these kinds of situations.  Ultimately you and your family will have to make certain decisions all of which hopefully will help all involved.

I hope you have a good physician who can work with your mom and her family to make these decisions  - both physical and mental.  I would suggest you take a look at our Caregiver Center for support for yourself.  it is so important for you, and it sound like you Dad too, to have help in dealing with all that comes with this disease.

Specifically, we have a this of web resources whose sites are dedicated to Alzheimer's disease and dementia.  The Alzheimer's Foundation of America has a tollfree 24/7 hotline with agents who can help get you started.  As well, the Alzheimer's Assocation can also provide various assistance.

I hope this helps and all the best, sue (moderator)

I understand completely your inner pain and grief. My wife has had AD for 15 years and I have been her caregiver for most of that time. Understand 2 things! First, You are not to blame for any of this. Second, Both you and your father need to find a support group and go more than once  This is very important for both of you and your own health. If something happens to to the caregiver who is going to take care of your loved one?

As far as placing your mom in a nursing home or assisted living facility, that will be harder on you and your dad than it will be on your mom. She might have a tough time at first but it will become her home and she will be happy and contented.I can almost promise you that. There are many, many more things you need to talk about with others going through the same thing but we cannot do it here. PLEASE attend a support group

Duane

I hear your pain.  My Mother just turned 80 years old on April 7, 2008 and I see a big difference in her.  I am one of nine children and I don't know how my mother has kept her faith, hope, and love all these years.  She has lost her son age 27 killed by a train, a son by suicide (2005) and Michael age 51 (2007) from cancer. She just changed so much in the last few weeks.  I am at my wits end... I don't know how much pain she is in but I see that she is very frustrated looking for words and asking the same question to me at least 15 times a day.  I answer her like it the first time she asked.  I live with her and I am over my head.  It's easy to give someone advice but here it goes.  Pray... talk with family and friends get into a support group. I also should listen to my own advice.

Peace be with you and God bless.