Communicating with the Dementia or Alzheimer’s AfflictedBy Charlotte ParkerWe are all born with a desire to give and receive love. Circumstances we encounter throughout our lives may callous that need, but it never fully dissipates. Sadly, as we grow older, we oftentimes become more challenging...
-
Compassion
Carol Bradley Bursack
Friday, May 15, 2009 at 05:10 PM
This is wonderful, Charlotte. I've written often about what you say here:
"Acceptance. Perhaps the hardest step in the process of compassionate communication is acceptance-accepting whatever the demented individual says or does is appropriate for the reality in which she lives."
My dad didn't have Alzheimer's, but his brain was destroyed by surgery meant to correct a WWII brain injury. I had to learn to get into his head and figure out what he believed to be true, and then, to the best of my ability, make it true. I was taken to task at the time because psychiatrists insisted we bring them back to "reality." It was obvious to me that the only way he could find contentment was for me to make his reality "real."
Fortunately, professional thinking changed during the ten years dad lived in his demented hell. It finally got so I no longer had to fight to do what a daughter's heart knew was right for her dad. You, too, instinctively know what your mother needs.
Thank you for this valuable contribution to the Ouralzheimer's site.
Carol
This is wonderful, Charlotte. I've written often about what you say here:
"Acceptance. Perhaps the hardest step in the process of compassionate communication is acceptance-accepting whatever the demented individual says or does is appropriate for the reality in which she lives."
My dad didn't have Alzheimer's, but his brain was destroyed by surgery meant to correct a WWII brain injury. I had to learn to get into his head and figure out what he believed to be true, and then, to the best of my ability, make it true. I was taken to task at the time because psychiatrists insisted we bring them back to "reality." It was obvious to me that the only way he could find contentment was for me to make his reality "real."
Fortunately, professional thinking changed during the ten years dad lived in his demented hell. It finally got so I no longer had to fight to do what a daughter's heart knew was right for her dad. You, too, instinctively know what your mother needs.
Thank you for this valuable contribution to the Ouralzheimer's site.
Carol