I learned important lessons from saints with whom I shared my Thanksgiving Day. I use the word saints because that is what I consider all people who seriously commit to giving loving care to those with dementia and Alzheimer's. Granted, many would not consider themsel...
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Lessons from Saints
Coni Townshend Halko
Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 02:17 PMre: Lessons from Saints
Leah
Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 05:37 AMBy the time we reach our age, every one of us has had many traumas in our lives. We are fortunate if we learn from them. Thank God that we have been given free will to make decisions and to learn from the experiences in our lives...to grow from them...to become who we are today. You have learned much in your life and been through a great deal and yet, through your faith, you have not let it get you down. You, dear cousin, are a role model for me. Thank you. Love you. Leah
replyRE Leah's comments to cousin: Lessons from Saints
Coni Townshend Halko
Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 07:44 AMDear Cousin--Thank you for your kind words...Your column is so very important to many...and give others hope...from my heart to yours...Merry Christmas and hope for a better New Year! Love you...Connie
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Untitled Comment
Sue
Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 08:44 PMLeah - another great post. I love reading your big thoughts here on this little site.
I can believe it was a bit disconserting for you being with D. Though it sounds like everyone gave it their all and in the end - as always, lessons were learned on how to make it better next time - or how someone else can make it better.
That's your part and step towards sainthood - helping us all to be better friends and caregivers - with your insightful writings.
I hope you have a great Christmas and Happy New Year.
All the Best, SMM
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Leah
Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 05:41 AMDear SMM,
I am touched by your kind words. When I write, I hope that the reader is touched, also. Through your comments I can see that I have accomplished that.
Thank you so very much for your support and comments. I am appreciative of both.
May your Christmas and all days beyond be full of God's blessings.
Leah
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Response from Lessons from Saints
Robin Dragoo
Wednesday, March 19, 2008 at 07:14 PMI think this story is a very good description of what living with someone with alzheimer's. However, I disagree that caregivers are saints. Caregivers have a choice to be there, and they make the choice (or should) out of love and respect.
If people would just take a second and imagine what it's like for the person who is ill, and show compassion and love to their "loved one", this type of problem would not occur.
People with Alzheimer's or any other memory stealing illness does not make this person less of a person or suggest they do not deserve love and respect. It sickens me that people should have to be more patient with them - when all it takes is to be a good person yourself. What ever happened to loving someone unconditionally?
My mother passed away from alzheimer's in 2007, and I ALWAYS made sure that her feelings, thoughts and her right to respect and dignity were above mine. Her illness didn't place her at the end of the line to be shown courtesy.
replyre: Response from Lessons from Saints
Leah
Thursday, March 20, 2008 at 06:30 AMThank you, Robin, for your response. Your mother was lucky to have such a loving child to care for her. And, true, people should care for their parents as they age--no matter what their infirmity. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. I used the metaphor of sainthood for caregivers just for the very reason you stated: they have made the decision out of love and respect to take the best care they can of their loved one with Alzheimers or dementia. When you think about it, "saints" in the truest meaning of the word, make the decision to do whatever it is/was which makes/made him/her a saint. And even saints have had their periods of weakness. Even the most dedicated caregiver can get frustrated from time to time with the demands of dementia/Alzheimers.
I have dementia. I know, though I am highly functioning (in a sense of the word) at this time, it is not always easy for my husband. He is having to get used to a changing ME. Yes, I am the same person internally. But, externally and neurologically, I am changing and challenging... I believe you belong in my definition of a saint for your loving and dedicated care of your mother. You serve as an example of what we, who are suffering from these diseases, deserve. Thank you for responding. Your input is invaluable.
Leah
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Dear Leah - How wise you are...you are learning so much...so fast...I am humbled and in awe by you and your journey...smile
Lots of love, Connie
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