Is it Dementia, Or Emotional Baggage?

you are just so brilliant, Leah - I fear that I may have this in the future as it is so much part of my family but you are being so brave and helping yourself along with it so much, it makes me not dread it quite so much.   Thank you...:)

Cathrynn X

Dear Leah,

I am aware of OBS and I know for a fact that in many cases we surpress our memory because of painful hurts in our past.

I feel that we have to look at the future and take one day at a time.

Truth being that GOD  is watching over us,and miracles happen everyday.

We need to pray and ask God to heal us.

With Love,

A Christian

Leah, you are so right. It's very human to repress unhappy memories, and most of us have some baggage we have "forgotten" to remember. You said it so well. Thank you, as always, for you insight.

Carol

Leah, when you mentioned memory loss and baggage that we may not even know we are carrying I thought how true that is.  I write in a journal most days and have been taking life story writing classes.  It's amazing the things I've started to remember, and how good it feels to unload it on paper.

Best wishes,

Kristi

Leah,

Thank you for responding to a message I sent you 2 weeks ago (courage and strength) regarding my 91 year old grandmother who has dementa in part as result of shock therapy for depression.  I thought about this subject more since then and have come to some profound ideas. 

The first one is that although she may not remember many of the memories that I have of her...I remember those memories that she gave to me.  Things such as her preparing me scrapple in the mornings - or fixing fried oysters when I would visit her in Salisbury during Thanksgiving (not because my parents or sister liked them particularly but because I did).  

Also, although there may be memories that we may not recall, you can be sure that others will and this is a legacy that we all leave behind.  Memories are like photographs in our minds eye.  They can give us hope but they can also hold us back.  I hope you focus on the positive memories you have of others and let this be a beacon of light for you when things do not seem so bright!       

A final thought is that I hope you do look at the future with promise and endless possibilities.  Don't let dementia (or anything for that matter) hold you back.  I recently started a private list of things I would like to accomplish in life such wants, wishes, hopes, and dreams.  Until recently I had been unknowingly been underestimating my potential and possibilities both due to the way I saw myself and the way I thought others saw me.  Then I met one amazing person who made me realize that maybe my perceptions were all wrong.  I look at the world now and see more beauty in things I took for granted...the stars, the mountains and farms for instance.  My glass is not half empty but half full...not of water but wine!    

My point in saying all of this is because I want you to

still believe you can still have it all!  Make your dreams realities in defiance of dementia.    

Dear Cuz

I can understand not wanting to leave your home on Christmas Day--

Truthfully, I prefer staying home as well.  I like a quiet day with the tree lit up, enjoying a cup of freshly brewed coffee while listening to Christmas music, calling loved ones and wishing them a Merry Christmas, maybe watching old Christmas movies [Miracle on 34th Street, It's a Wonderful Life, Scrooge, Walton's Christmas [original movie]....

I love my family--I love sharing holidays with them.  I go to my daughter's home Christmas afternoon to be with my children, grandchildren...but, I do love my quiet Christmas morning at home.

You brought up something I had not thought about--every Christmas morning my beloved maternal grandparents would come to our home to have Christmas dinner with us. After dinner, I ALWAYS went home with them in the afternoon to spend my remaining Christmas vacation. I loved them dearly and enjoyed spending time with them...but, was sad leaving my new toys behind.  Is that why I like to stay home on Christmas? Or--is it because I now live at the homeplace that was my maternal grandparents--where I spent my childhood weekends, vacations, and summers?  I do know I am so very blessed to live at my maternal grandparents homeplace where I felt so much love & joy?  

Dear Cuz:

How wonderful that you have these precious memories--and also that you learned an important lesson last Christmas....that there is memory loss that has nothing to do with dementia...it has to do with emotional baggage.

We all can relate to emotional baggage.  Why?  We all have it!  [smile, wink]

Naturally a child would hate leaving their new presents to go away Christmas day...

Yet, many of us did the same thing ourselves--and then repeated it with our children.

You, dear cousin, seem to have the least emotional baggage of anyone I know. [smile]

Love, Connie