(I would like to write using my dialect today...which means I will be writing words more closely to the way I say them than to how they are actually spelled. It will exercise a part of my brain which hasn't been used as much- and exercising a part of yours at the same time!)
I'm havin' the "used ta's today...I used to do this...I used to do that... It all started with our travelin' plans. Maybe by writing about it, I can clear my head and move on with a more positive attitude.
Four or more years ago, BD (Before Dementia), I was an overworked elementary school teacher who could schedule and plan with the best of ‘em. Since then, m'ability to plan has diminished a great deal. Frustration is only one o' my problems. Fatigue an' distractibility also enter in. As does concentration. An' memory...
My husband and I are planning a five day cruise to Key West (Florida), Cozumel, and Belize City (Belize). I've be'n tryin' to get a hol' of what each place is like and the kin's of activities each offers. I also want to know ‘bout the culture of each place. In the past, I was able to take notes and remember what I had written.
Ten or more years ago, I would research so much that I was a "mini-expert" wherever we traveled. I would delve over books and pamphlets to know all I could ‘bout the places we would visit. I would even print up and pour over maps ... maybe I went a little over the edge trying to prepare myself for a trip. However, I enjoyed doin' the background research, so I guess it doesn't matter if I got a little carried away. However, I am realizing that, today, much has changed in this area of my ability.
I s'pose one that could say that any attempt that fails is still a good attempt-‘specially when one learns from it. My attempts to learn ‘bout the places I am goin' have been numerous, to say the least, and yet, I still can't remember what I have learned!!! Now that is sad...ridiculous...horrendous... NO. That is just ME at this time! It's like I'm on an UP escalator trying to go DOWN...my feet are moving, but I'm getting nowhere.
Now, I could get very upset over this. I could lament the fact that I continue to take copious notes (as I have always done my whole life because of my learning style) and cannot remember what I have written about. I could get dismay'd ‘cause the notes I have taken seem to have vanished in thin air (along with my gold bracelet and my Palm Pilot)... I could become depressed...
But I WON'T! No, I have to accept what is happening to some extent, or it would drive me crazy. I have to do whatever I can to remain as healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally as I can for as long as I can. It won't help matters to shut down now.
And so, I will continue to work in short spurts to do research and take notes on the places we will visit...knowing that most will not remain implanted in my brain where I will be able to retrieve it. Hoping that even just a little bit will be retained. (That would be a victory!) And, I'll go on this cruise and any future trips and enjoy evr'y darn day to its fullest, not carin' how much I will remember. I'll live for the moment!
And so, as my first paragraph foretold, writin' about this HAS helped bright'n my outlook. Nothing is gonna bother me today! Now THAT's something to smile about!
Hope your day is as blessed!
Published On: April 16, 2008