The summer is in full swing here in Maryland and I hardly seem to notice it. This week, I am visiting my daughter and granddaughter near Charlottesville, Virginia. I have been keeping my granddaughter company and taking her to her counselor, dietician, and physician appointments. Her anorexia continues to plague her. Some moments she is winning, other moments, the eating disorder is the victor. I can only say that the condition is quite tiring for those loved ones around her...
I wrote this about my memory just two days ago, or it may have been yesterday...
Some of my memory, surprisingly, seems to be better... in spite of my mourning the loss of my brother and grieving over the news of the inoperable brain tumor of my seven-year-old nephew.
I can remember snippets of directions. I've been able to drive my granddaughter almost an hour each way to her appointments... though today, much of what I passed looked unrecognizable to me. That's one thing I hate, knowing that I should know what an area should look like after I've passed it countless times, but, all of a sudden, one day, I don't recognize a thing.
With more thought and snippets of day-to-day living catching me by surprise, I am beginning to think that my memory is actually getting worse, but that it hasn't registered with me yet... in other words, I think I may be becoming clueless to the extent of my memory loss.
Let me give you some cases in point:
1) My granddaughter and I were talking about movies. I told her I had "bought" a movie from our cable provider and didn't like it, though it was a current hit movie. When asked what its title was, I had NO idea... couldn't even remember the littlest thing about it... all I could remember is that I had "bought" one...
2) We went to a yard sale. I had driven my daughter's SUV. We got out and I was standing in front of the SUV when I heard its motor running. "Does the car's motor continue to run?" I asked. My granddaughter said, "Grandmom, did you turn it off? Did you take the key out?" I looked in my hands; they were empty. I looked in my purse-no keys... I got back into the car only to find the keys still in the ignition and the car running. Nope, guess I didn't turn it off! That was a first!
3) I CANNOT remember to take my morning medicine. I'm doing better with my insulin, thanks to my nephew calling me to remind me. You would think that repetition would help me to remember - NOT! How can that be? WHY can I not remember a simple thing like taking my meds? It doesn't hurt. It's already counted out. None of it tastes bad. It definitely makes me feel better... so what's the problem?
4) Throughout the day, I notice something happening, and I mentally decide to remember it so I can write about it in this blog... before long, I remember that I had wanted to remember something for the blog and cannot recall it at all.