Thanks so much for your post Leah - you sounds great! And this is a super topic. I even notice it whenmy kids have not been outside in the sunlight. Of course they just want to run and swim and play. But it really does change their disposition. And mine.
Anyway - good luck with your experiment. Let us know what the blood tests look like.
All the best, sue
Here are a few other posts/articles on lighting.
When I sit zazen my greatest problem is my eyes -- they wander, they want to be open, then they want to be closed, then they just want to not be on my face, it seems. Deeper down, the problem isn't my eyes -- its my energy level. What my body (and my mind!) really wants to do is go to sleep. And it doesn't help that the light levels in the zendo are kept intentionally low.
What I have discovered is that I can avoid the whole energy balance thing by just focusing my attention on the world around me. When I focus my attention on my own thoughts, or when my attention wanders, my energy level seems to go way down. It took me awhile to realize that its not really going down...it was already down to begin with, and now I'm just allowing that fact to affect me. When I can keep my attention focused and free, however, I don't get this effect -- in fact, I can even notice at a pretty deep level of detail just what my true level of energy is (and not just attentive energy, but emotional energy or "mood" and physical energy too).
Now, the -way- I realized this comes right back to your post: light. I noticed, after many months of struggling with the energy/sleepy/eyes thing that during the day when bright sunshine streams into the zendo and they can't do anything to keep the lights low, I have less trouble with my energy (which makes sense) -- but also late at night during the "yaza" period, when the lights are turned so low that you can barely see at all and I should be asleep, I also have less trouble with energy (which makes no sense!). At other times when the light level is somewhere in-between is when I have the worst trouble with energy. I realized that its during these times when my energy level is being brought to my attention so strongly I can't ignore it. At the extremes, when its dead-obvious what my energy level -should- be, is when I had the least trouble with it interfering with my concentration.
The lesson here, for me at least, is that when our minds focus on the question of what our energy levels are or should be, we get sucked down into a vortex of dead-end questions and concerns that further saps our strength. What we need to do is...stop paying attention to our energy level! But that is a might harder said than done. Adding more light to the environment is one sure-fire way to solve the problem -- as you've discovered, Aunt Leah -- but another way that works in any situation is to focus one's attention on what is real, and not what is imagined to be real. Then, the issue of our energy level will fall out of our attention (it won't disappear...it will just become unimportant).
That's a technique that requires rigorous exercise and long practice. Easier just to turn the lights on!
Leah,
I never paid much thought to it before but I think you are on to something - the importance of taking the time to get additional sunlight. I have started eating my lunches outside recently in part just to escape the sounds of the telephones ringing at the desk or the sounds of TV's playing while in the lunchroom. The other big advantage is that I can escape a sea of ultraviolet lights and get some fresh air and "escape" (if only for a half hour)
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I never really paid attention to the difference the sun might also play in my desire to leave the office. When it's sunny I am out there like a moth to the flame - too bad I get burned so easily!! For me small doses of sun while outside with friends can really change my mental outlook on life. I will have to try to compare and contrast the effect the sunny days have from the cloudy ones.
Just remember that each day ...even the gloomiest one... has a bright spot somewhere...it might be elusive but if you search hard enough...you will find it...too bad it might not have the added bonus of Vitamin D however
.
Hi, Bill! It sounds like you've got a wonderful sense of humor and a great outlook on life. Just remember that you can continue to get outside even on the colder days of winter (if you live in an area where winters are cold--I sometimes forget that not everyone lives here in the mid-Atlantic area!) Hope you get lots of opportunities to get outside at work. You are so right about sunlight improving one's attitude! Thanks for commenting!
Leah