I am taking an eclectic approach with this week’s blog. In other words, there is no real theme…just thoughts.
First, I must send out my sincerest condolences to a very dear reader who has turned into a friend—Connie. Connie has written several times with questions about caring for her husband. She has reported throughout his illness. Connie’s husband of almost 30 years succumbed to death today, Monday, January 19, 2009. His family was by his side. She was a faithful and dedicated wife, taking care of him at home, almost totally by herself. He was a double amputee with COPD and dementia. The COPD finally got the best of him. I have traveled from afar this path with Connie. She lives in Texas, I in Maryland. But we have corresponded through ouralzheimers.com, private email, and phone. My heart goes out to her as she travels this next part of her life’s path without her partner. God bless you and your family, Connie. May you find the peace you so deserve.
Second, I have received some absolutely delightful responses from the last couple of blogs. As I noted to VeganDog, I usually feel that I am writing to the wind when I get no responses for a while. I begin to wonder if my writing is of any value. So, a special thank you to all who have taken the time to write!
Third, I made Beef Barley Soup for dinner today, and I used a recipe…or sorta used a recipe. It seems I can’t be too bothered anymore with little details like 1 cup of onion or
¼ cup of Parsley. This is how it goes in my head:
“Onion…how much? One cup…(chop, chop)…oh, heck, might as well use the whole onion—that looks to be about one cup. Besides, I like onion. How much carrot? One cup chopped. Might as well use the food processor. It’s quicker. How much? Oh, one cup…(throw some carrots into the processor) I guess that will end up being one cup. (Turn processor on. Try not to pulverize the carrots beyond recognition.) Now, how much Parsley? ¼ cup…is that fresh or dried? Doesn’t say. Now which is it, you use more fresh than dried? Or more dried than fresh? Oh well,doesn’t make any difference which it is since I don’t know which they are calling for…Guess I’ll just dump in a handful.” And so on and so on and so on.
I talk to myself constantly anymore as I cook. I even answer myself…Remember that old quip: “ As long as you don’t answer yourself, you’re okay”? Well, I’m beyond that; however, I don’t care what people think who are around me…guess that makes me crazier still!
Fourth, for those interested, my MRSA or whatever it is, is slowly going away. Sure is taking its time, though. My depression seems to be lessening; we’ve been putting lights on earlier. My new glasses have helped tremendously; I can’t imagine how I drove without them this past year! I’ve been taking small timeouts as needed. I’ve added DanActive to my daily diet to help offset any problems from taking so many antibiotics. I’ve not been on my Wii for a few days. Hope to start again tomorrow. (You know how it is to get out of a routine…) I have managed to improve enough to get out of the UNBALANCED category in some of the activities AND I even had five (yes, I said FIVE) hula hoops going on the screen at once! (One of the aerobic activities, I believe.) My balance is getting better, and I can actually get down onto the floor more easily to light the gas fireplace!
Fifth, I keep dreaming about teaching; I have never stopped since I retired over three years ago. However, the dreams are getting better; I do not awaken with anxiety at the loss of my career. I awaken with an appreciation that I’ve been able to spend some time with my ol’ buddies…my former teacher friends. Once in a while, I even dream of some particular student. The dreams are usually not filled with anguish as before, but with adventure. Guess I’m finally getting over my lost love: teaching. Once it is in your bones, it is hard to shake it…
In closing, this has been an assortment of thoughts. I am in a rather thoughtful mode at the moment. I feel the loss of Connie’s husband even though I have never met either of them. The care that caregivers must give to loved ones fighting any form of dementia is so demanding. I feel the pain of the caregiver though that is not my path. I feel the pain as I know my loved ones will feel that pain with me someday, and it saddens me. I wish it wasn’t so, just as all of you out there wish it wasn’t so. I don’t know how to explain it any better than to say: Thank you. I represent your loved ones and I am thanking you for all the concern and care you are giving them. And, yes, I am thanking my own family, in advance! God bless you all!
Published On: January 21, 2009