I'm visiting my daughter this week. Unfortunately, I have to put both her and my husband out every time I visit because I cannot drive myself the two and a half hours it takes to get to her house. We meet halfway and unpack all my bags from one vehicle to the next...you see this sort of thing between separated parents with children. They meet in a public parking area and exchange kids, baggage, and maybe even pets. I suppose it must look pretty silly watching an older woman being shuffled from one car to another, and, of course, I always carry my poodle with me! LOL
My daughter gets concerned that I will get bored during the week while she is at work and her daughter is at school. They have no TV service, and I must admit that I do miss watching the news. However, I keep up with that via radio and computer. Having dementia allows me the freedom from boredom...it doesn't take much to make me happy. I read. I play with her four cats, her dog, and mine. I go for walks. I sit in the sunshine on her back deck. My granddaughter and I even try to rustle up some dinner-usually as unusual a dish as we can since I don't cook that way at home. I play the card games on my computer or the many games for my Nintendo DS. I take naps. I AM NEVER BORED WITH SO MUCH TO DO ! A more normal person may get bored after five days of this, but not me... Did I just infer that I am not normal? Hmmm, that is a first, I think!
I so enjoy my time with my daughter and granddaughter. Of course, as a teenager, my daughter and I had the normal ups and downs, but, as an adult, she has come to have same type of relationship with me as I did with my own mom. It's a special one indeed and probably not the normal kind in our world today. We respect one another as adults and love one another as family. That makes a strong bond. It is carrying through to my granddaughter, which is wonderful to watch. They accept my quirkiness and laugh at my antics. My daughter says I'm crazy, and we laugh. Well, Yeah...I am...and who cares?
I have some regrets. I regret that I cannot make this trip by myself but ask for help. I've always been so independent in the past. I regret that I don't force myself out of my comfort zone enough; I think that's so important for self image and respect. How do I know how far I can go unless I try? That's a lesson for everyone-not just those of us with dementia. I find myself always wanting my world to be comfortable and the older I get, the fewer risks I am willing to take. Depending upon the risk, this might not be a bad idea...risks which involve money or one's physical well being must be contemplated carefully before taking. But risks which involve stepping out of comfort zones-like riding a roller coaster, or going to a small Super Bowl party-these should be explored and carried through.
Published On: February 03, 2009