Confirmation for my father.

Today my mother shared a cup of tea with me after my day of work and having greeted my little 10 mth old daughter that she minds for me,  we got down to the 'visit' that she  had received from the local nurse.  She confirmed that my father's recent hospital scan displayed the signs of the onset ofdementia.  I'm pretty new to the world of dementia and alzheimer's so please excuse my ignorance.  My father has shown signs for a few years but silly us put it down to anything else but Alzheimer's.  He's only 58 and for all intensive purposes was as normal and alert as I can call myself. 

He was always a street angel and home devil.  A drinker, a married man living the single life.  Not a provider, wanted a house kept for him but never there for anyone but himself.  I feel quite guilty writing this about him but I've three brothers all grown up that are representations of the effects of not having a guiding supportive security that a father's influence may have had.  I've always loved  him dispite his many faults but who is left to pick up the pieces of his stolen life..... a wife that has always supported him even though he robbed her of any slice of a happy existence.   

My mother keeps the whole show on the road, always there for everyone and always having had to be there for everyone. 

My father can easily be named as the thorn in my mother's side and indeed the family's side, he's caused such damage over the years and I do say that with a heavy heart.  You only have one set of parents and I would do anything for the both of them with all my heart I would. Where do we go now as a family I don't know.  My brothers always put up with my father for my mother's sake but he burnt his bridges with them years ago. ( these are events that he no longer remembers !) 

My mother is the one who is faced with caring for him now and where is fairness in life??  For both my mother and my father they have been dealt with many crosses in life, and low and behold here is one more.

So after a rant here I can see that I need to pull out of it and be there for my mother and father.  It's easy to say why him, why us why any of you ..... WHY !

Take care all of you who have posted on this web site,  I'm new to it and find such information and insight into all the I see.  I also see so much bravery and commend it.