The Responsibility Police Are Gone

Hello Everyone,

Amazing, the Responsibility Police, sometimes known as the Guilt Patrol, or the You Gotta Guys, are gone from my life as I knew it.  I realized this wonderful fact this morning when I woke. It just popped into my head. They are gone! I only have to take care of myself today. I am only responsible for me. Me and my mental and physical health and happiness. My day can be what I want or need it to be. I can work on what ever time schedule I plan out for me. (Hopefully I not be in pity party mode and will plan for a good day.)

I don't have to get up and struggle through my days of old. I don't have to deal with 18 employees, 60-80 dental patients (I was the office manager in a large 3 dentist ~ 5 hygienist practice), all of the reports, budgets, and other responsibilities to a corporate supervisor, come home exhausted to a husband and two grown sons that have come home to roost, fix dinner, and On & On. Over and Over. I now only have to worry about me. Me, I am finally the focus of my attention. Seems diagnosis does that for us.

Believe it or not ~ I now even appreciate having a diagnosis of Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease(diagnosis before age 65) EOAD. I at least now know I am not......Lazy, Crazy, or Stupid! Which is what I was thinking when the Responsibility Police ruled my world. They constantly were enforcing & forcing my duties to others. Even though I was not performing up to par, they made me get up and go through the empty motions. I say empty because in a way I felt dead inside. I was so overwhelmed with just trying to get through the day.

Again, this morning, as I do each day I thanked My God for the blessings given to me. I am blessed. I no longer live in the stress of the old days. I may not have the money I had before but my mental status is much healthier. I am a 57 year old FREE WOMAN, I have choices, and that is a GOOD THING!  

Now, I admit this freedom from the Responsibility Police did not come with out pain, fear, and a lot of gnashing and gnawing of teeth. I have spent a lot of the past 6 months since my diagnosis and Responsibility Reprieve (unplanned retirement) in my jammies, being totally unproductive, feeling sorry for myself, and trying to figure out how I should live the rest of my life. I have found that Yes, there is life after diagnosis of EOAD! That is if you want it. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn is that even though you do not have those previous responsibilities you still have to WANT to live an abundant life and with that in mind you DO have work to be done. But at least you can do that work at your own speed.

I feel like I have still so much to absorb, try to remember, and then share with others. I believe in life that there are life lessons to be learned from everything that happens. And that there is good that can come from everything if we learn those lessons and share what we learned. I belive that we are supposed to do that.