Mom has moved to a secured alzheimers/dimentia unit

My mother-in-law has Alzhiemer's, like your Mom. I would give almost anything to have you as a sister-in-law. You are doing what is best for your mom and are there to care for her in person. I know you are upset with your siblings over their lack of involvement but I'd rather have that problem than the war that has erupted in our family. After a recent hospitalization Mom's doctor recommended nursing home care and my husband and his brother agree. Their 2 sisters, however, think they can take care of Mom although their method is to leave her alone most of the time, including all night, with a five year old child. It is unclear to us whether they think the child will care for Mom or whether they think Mom will somehow "snap out of it" if she has responsibilities. The sisters have cut us out of the information about Mom and have changed doctors. I fear a long legal battle is coming and no matter what is decided Mom will be the biggest loser. There is little to be thankful for when Alzheimer's comes to your house but in this case, try to be thankful you are being allowed to care for your mom. You sound like a very good daughter.

Oh Jan, how I can relate to your story.  I too, have just moved my mom from an assisted living unit to the memory care unit.  Your story caught my attention, because my sister and I were the ones to move our mother, and my sister's name begins with a "J".  This is such an intensely sad time for our us and our families.  We've been watching our mom slip away from us for about 4 years now, but making the final decision (to move mom) was the toughest.  My intense sorrow is when my precious Mom asks me to take her to her Mom's house.  I see her so lost, it absolutely breaks my heart.  I will be praying for you and your mom, maybe you could pray for mine as well.

I helped my father get my Mom into a secure facility as her Alzheimers progressed. It's hard isn't it?

I am all grown up and Mom is elderly...so

one of the things I told her often was "when I was a little girl, I was your daughter..." She would look at me so innocently and say "really?" and I'd say" and you were such a good mom!"  She would smile so lovingly at me and say "Oh thats so nice."

One of the few positive things you can say about Alzheimers...we had a chance to say goodby while her brain remembered...so when she died, we had already said our goodby's, and her leaving the body to go home to be with the Lord, didn't have the sadness it would have otherwize.

My heart goes out to you for the burden falling on your shoulders, both physically and emotionally.  I think it's difficult to step away from the situation and mourn when you're as caught up as you are in the minute-by-minute responsibilties on your plate.  My father's alzheimer's wasn't diagnosed until last July.  It was very, very progressive, and we moved him into a nursing home in October because by then he couldn't even dress himself or know how to use the restroom.  He passed away in November and we still wonder how things could have happened so quickly.  In a small way we were blessed we didn't have to see him suffer very long.  I have seven siblings and we saw the strain my mother was going through in this short time; and fortunately for us we all worked together in agreement by doing what was best for dad, as well as mom.  Even though the situation we were in was difficult, your going through this without your siblings help is sad and so unfortunate.  Just remember that she never forgets to love you!!!