It all seems to be just to much right now.....................

Some weeks are just too much..............last week was one of those weeks for me and my family.  I moved my Mom a little over a week ago to the Alzheimers/dimentia unit at the facility she has been in for almost 2 years.  No help from my siblings so I did it by myself.   Mom started out mostly peaceful but manic.  She ran the hallways all day and just couldn't relax.  I had to take her precious cat home with me because Mom could no longer clean the litter box, forgot to feed "Meow" and one night almost strangled him with a scarf.  Luckily, she has almost forgotten him completely and just ask me who is taking care of the "baby with a lot of hair".  Mom fell late one night in her room and staff called and I went in right away.  After talking with her doctor of 30 years I decided not to take her to the emergency room rather let her get back in bed and sleep.  No broken bones.  The next day, Mom hit her head hard but she appeared to be OK with no obvious signs of injury.  The day after that, Mom hit her head even harder and one pupil became dialated more than the other.  Paramedics came in and after checking her vitals asked me what I wanted to do.  By this time, I was in a total meltdown and couldn't make a decision on my own.  A nice young man (paramedic) talked to me calmly and we decided to put Mom back in bed and let her sleep.   I just can't see the benefit at this point of taking her to the ER sitting for hours, tests being done and then being told there really is nothing they can do at this point. 

In the meantime, my oldest brother who has not been visiting Mom much but has continued to support me and thank me for all I've done to help Mom, was rushed to the ER.  His kidneys have failed, he's dehydrated and his heart beat is irregular.  He is at this time in the cardiac care unit.  I went to see him and he wanted to privately talk with me.   I have always looked up and have always been so proud of this brother......I love him with all of my heart and want him to get better. 

My husband wants us to go to our Florida home this Thursday for our anniversary.  I know I need this break right now to get myself together but how on earth do I leave my Mom right now and my brother............  My other siblings either can't or won't be of any support or help.   I need some additional strength to get through all of this right now.