Enough is enough

I spend sometimes upwards of 6 hours per day with my Mom who is living in a nursing home on the alzheimer's/dimentia unit.  I am one of 6 siblings and have had almost no support or help from any of them.  Oh yes, everyone has their opinions and finds reasons to blame me for everything, complain about the costs of Mom's care and the home she is living in, demand that Mom is taken off of prescription medications they don't agree with and it goes on and on.........but not one of them has spent any amount of time with Mom to understand this disease and what it takes on a day to day basis to care for her.  I've had enough and am worried that I all of this stress is going to make me sick and/or kill me and then what will happen with my Mom.   

Last night something told me to return to the nursing home to check on my Mom after dinner.  What I found was Mom extremely upset and telling me "they are going to kill me".  People were screaming in the dining room.  Why don't they remove these residents and try to help them without upsetting the other residents?  Mom had not received her medications and I immediately started asking that she be given them by the CMT who was on break and unavailable.  I knew it would be another hour or more before she would start calming down after receiving her meds and I have numerous times told the CMT's that Mom needs her medications on time at 6 p.m.  In the meantime, two of the residents somehow got off of the secured floor on the elevator and there was panic and alot of confusion.  These two residents were finally returned by staff on another floor. My own mother got down the stairwell 2 times in one day last week and have addressed this with management.  I definately am concerned about my Mom's safety more than ever now. 

I took my Mom to her private room to help her dress for bed.  I locked the door but 3 of the residents kept banging on Mom's door and screaming at the top of their lungs.  My Mom was beside herself scared to death.  I finally opened my Mom's door and led these residents away to a common area but couldn't find even 1 caretaker to help them.  Where in the hell was the staff.

I went back into my Mom's room, locked the door and turned on quiet music.  She finally got her evening meds.  I stayed another 2 hours to ensure that my Mom was safely and peacefully sleeping. 

I keep going to management with these issues but I seem to get "yes, we understand" and this stuff continues.  Forget moving her to another facility because I've toured and talked with other families and it's all about the same. 

I wish my siblings would stop arguing, attacking and placing blame.  I wish my siblings would help but it's never going to happen.

I needed to vent..........sorry.