Stepping back.....................

A week ago today I moved my Mom to a Catholic skilled nursing facility.  Some of you may have read my previous posts and this move was appropriate and necessary at this time for my Mother.  I knew moving Mom would be difficult and the transition would take some time.  What I didn't realize was how difficult it would be for me to take some steps back now and allow the staff at this home to gain my Mother's trust and take care of her.  Mom is actually doing better than we expected with this transition.  I am still visting every day but have limited the amount of time I stay.  I have been pleasantly surprised each day when I arrive and always find my Mom clean, dressed appropriately, fed, engaged in some activity and the staff keeping me informed what she has been doing, how she slept through the night, etc. 

My siblings have once again disappeared and have not helped with this move.  Some of my siblings have called or e-mailed to complain or voice their opinions about this home, it's location, Mom's meds, costs, etc.  One of my sisters called and woke me early the other morning asking me to go to see my Mom right away because she was worried about her and asked me to call her and give her an update immediately about Mom's condition when I got to the home.  I did as she requested because I knew she was working and didn't want her to worry all day.  I got and went to the home only to find my Mom was perfectly fine.  When I tried to call this sister back to let her know everything was OK, I couldn't get a hold of her all day and she finally called me late that night and just said "OK, I gotta go now". 

Sorry I am always complaining.  I need some help with breaking away as my Mom's primary caregiver.  I will always visit my Mom but I want to enjoy my time with her as her daughter now, not her caretaker.  I toured and did my research on this facility prior to signing the contract for my Mom to live there.  My Mother's sister lived in this facility for 10 years so some of the Nuns and staff already knew my Mom and some of the family history.  I feel absolutely certain that this was the best move for my Mom as she further progresses with this disease. 

Yesterday before I left my Mom she was laying down for a nap.  I explained to her that I was going to leave and would be back to see her tomorrow.  She looked at me and said "Mommy, don't leave...I am scared".  I reassured her that she was safe and everyone was there to help her.  I left and went home and spent the evening with thoughts of my Mom weighing heavily on my heart. 

Jan