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Untitled Comment
Christine Kennard
Sunday, November 08, 2009 at 10:18 AMre: Untitled Comment
j
Sunday, November 08, 2009 at 11:21 AMThank you for sharing your knowlege and input. It certainly helps to know that this stage will pass. The doctor did tell me that my Mom would be staying for a period of time in the unit and you have helped me to realize that this can't be "fixed" in a matter of a few days. I continue to find positive in this experience. There are still those moments that my Mother smiles or giggles or is just being a little naughty. The other day in the ER there was a very compassionate young male nurse. He spent quite a bit of time with me and my Mom. The more disruptive my Mom became, the more gentle and kind this young man was with my Mom. He spent quite some time just walking with her through the hallways when she was restless. At one point, my Mother took both of his hands and kissed them and then proceeded to lean toward his face to kiss him on the cheek. He kissed her right back and told her how sweet she is. Watching this exchange brought tears to my eyes and will be a memory I will never forget. Thank you again for your support and sharing your knowlege. Jan
re: re: Untitled Comment
sojourner
Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 12:37 AMOh, Jan,
Get down on your knees and pray that this very rare young man will be a continuing care-giver for your Mom! I am so naive as to suspect that her recent tirades may be a rebellion against the uncaring attitudes of so many who are placed in paid positions to care, really CARE! for her. To improvise on an old saying, "She may be crazy, but she's not stupid!" She probably still knows when she has been treated badly, be it by others, or by her present pitiful circumstansces, which she has probably endured far longer than many of us could hold up to.
Tell that young man that he has totally lifted MY spirits, and that I hope my family will be able to find his counterpart when my bad days come.
'So happy for your new possibilities,
Sojourner
Hard to understand
Meagan
Saturday, November 14, 2009 at 11:36 PMYou have siblings and no one will pitch in and help during this nightmare? That is so hard to understand. Perhaps you should have some sort of meeting and insist that the others do their share so that the entire burdon is not on you. That is what we did in my family and it helped quite a bit when I made it clear to my sister and brother that they were not holding up their ends.
re: Hard to understand
j
Sunday, November 15, 2009 at 12:24 AMMy Mom has now been in the hospital for 10 days and the medication therapy has shown great benefit as she is now very peaceful. Mom stopped eating and drinking several days ago and is losing weight and strength rapidly. I had the opportunity to sit down with one of her doctors who spent an hour with me to answer all of my questions and give me direction. This doctor held my hand, looked directing at me and was honest, compassionate and caring.
My Mom will be returning home in a couple of days. She is now on hospice care which is a great relief as I know they will help to provide comfort for both Mom and my family. My siblings have all been contacted on a daily basis and each of them is aware of Mom's condition. Some of my siblings have not seen Mom for months now and although I don't understand this, I continue to hope and pray they will see her again before it is too late.
I believe the greatest gift we can give my Mom is for her children to come together and surround her with love, let her know that what she and my Dad created and worked so hard for was successful....a loving family.
J
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Untitled Comment
John
Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 08:10 PMJ,
It is obvious that all of your Mother's children have suffered horribly through your Mother's ordeal, too. How could they not? There is not a more stronger love than the love between a Mother and her children. These bonds are absolutely unbreakable. I get the feeling you know that already.
Love could still possibly return with your siblings. From experience, I know that we need to be patient and kind to one another and stop the hurt immediately, or you may never again experience the love of a family unit.
Sounds to me like your Mother is a lucky woman to have so many of her children love her. It seems some of her children cannot even bear to see their Mother during this time. It also seems others are terribly worried about their Mother, are extremely cautious with the family decisions and are frustrated with the changes. Another is a professional in this field and trying to help with the education she has.
Be patient, be kind and I will pray for your family as I do mine.
John
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Hi Jan
I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Aggressive and combative behaviour is, unfortunately, very common, but it is a stage that does pass. As Alzheimer's disease progressively destroys her brain and the pathways between the different areas her behaviour will change. However that does not help you at the present time.
Aggression and violent behaviour is one of the most difficult things to treat in someone with dementia. The disease wreaks such havoc that many of the therapeutic talk therapies are not particularly helpful. You do have medications, activities as distraction and exercise to help direct her energies. As you have found though, the last two are difficult to use and are of only limited use at the present time while she is so ill.
The doctor sounds as though he is trying various medication changes. It does take time as each medication change is prescribed and then you have to wait to see if there is any positive effect from it. Combining different medications, as you often have to do to deal with aggression and dangers to herself and others, causes problems too. He/she has to be cautious as side effects can be severe and, at times, life threatening.
I am afraid that you will have to wait and see. Your choice of nursing home placement will be extremely limited unless they can find a treatment that works. You could ask for a second opinion if you are concerned about the medications or the doctor's experience and capabilities. My feeling is that at the present time I think you should wait and see how medication changes help her before changing medical care and facility.
All my best wishes. I know from you previous shareposts that you do a great job for your Mom.
Christine