The Nightmare of this Disease

This is such a difficult time but I am trying to hold it together for Mom.  Last week I had to take my Mom via ambulance to an emergency room until a geropsychiatric bed became available at one of the local hospitals (8 hours waiting in the ER).  The director and head RN of the facility Mom has been living in the last 2 months have stated that my Mother is a safety risk to herself and to the other residents and it is absolutely necessary to get her stablized and peaceful on medications in order for her to continue living at this facility.  My Mother has been manic for 2 years now, pacing the halls, exhausted but unable to sleep, refusing to eat and overall just miserable and confused.  The last month Mom has become combative and destructive.  This fragile, little lady has been able to tear off kick plates screwed to the bottom of doors, break a laundry cart and a geri chair.  Mom has locked herself into a utility closet and refused to come out, set off alarms on every door, pushed, kicked, slapped and thrown shoes at caregivers.  Mom is wondering in and out of other residents rooms and trashing their belonging.  At times she throws and spits out her medications.   I continue to be with my Mom for hours every day to try and help.  Recently she tried to choke me and my heart just hurts because I know this isn't my Mom any longer.  I have tried to hire private duty but everyone backs out when they realize the difficulties we are having.  Mom's doctors have tried changing/increasing her medications.  Nothing seems to be working for long so now I have been told that I may have to move my Mom again.  I have talked with the psychiatrist who is now treating Mom at the hospital and have found him to be very dismissive with me.  Basically, he has told me that he will be keeping my Mom for quite some time and trying different medications..........hopefully, to keep her calm and peaceful.  I wonder if they find something today that helps her, will it help her next week or next month? 

I have kept all of my siblings informed but still have very little and/or no support from most of them.  Last week we had another round of ugly e-mails sent among my siblings.  Everyone has an opinion even if they don't see or spend the time with Mom to understand what is happening.  Everyone wants to control and state what should and shouldn't be done with Mom.  Some of my siblings want a listing of Mom's medications so that they can research and decide if these medications are appropriate but these siblings are not qualified to make that determination.   As Mom's daughter and POA I have had to limit the amount of information some of my siblings receive in the hope that I can keep peace at this time. 

I hope and pray this doctor and hospital staff will help her.  I don't want to move my Mom again.......it is just too difficult for her.  Maybe I will be able to find a seasoned private duty caregiver....I don't care about the costs.