We have recently moved my father-in-law to this nice assisted living facility for mid-stage/late stage of dementia people. Before we moved, we heard all kinds of warnings and stories about how bad it is for the dementia elders to be moved. I also heard that some people suggested that the move would make them happier because they are closer to the family. Also I heard about the stories that no we cannot fly the elders with dementia and etc. All the horrors that made us nervous. So we got sedatives and first-class air tickets and off we took away my FIL to his new place.

Well, it turned out that he loved the flight wanting to go to outer space. The airport was stressful but he was ok holding our hands in the wheelchair provided by the airline. It was certainly stressful in the airports. But he needs no sedatives at all.

Surprisingly, he loves this new place. Perhaps this is more comfortable than his old house back home without stairs and etc. He walks easier in this place. Better room with nice powder room. Modern shower room with the bath tub that has a door! For sure in the first 2 days, he was looking for us and asking to go up (means to go upstairs to see us in the old house.) But he keeps saying he loves the people (who are "too nice") and the food. He loves the attention. The funny thing is these are strangers that we were worried about! He forgot the old caregivers who warned that he may need them. But he never needed the previous home care caregivers anymore! Maybe it is because these caregivers in the new place are trained to be professional and nice, and also they relate to him in his culture. He loves the LCD TVs in the living rooms.

I would not say the home care before this was bad but it certainly was going downhill due to his state and that was why we had to move him.

We don't know if he will get worse suddenly later on, but now he is adjusting better than most people in the new home. He is probably the role model now!!

One factor is he has the delusion all the time - he thinks this is a place where he can work with other people about his past career and he sees the rooms thinking the family can live with him. He still asks for my husband but since we see him almost once a week, he feels OK and didn't call us at all. The caregiver only tried to call us the first Sat. but didn't reach us.

Now he is better knowing his friends/sons are able to call him and etc.

The lesson here is, don't be afraid to change the setting for the dementia elders. Sometimes they may need the change. Since one will never know what is in his mind and the elder himself does not even know himself, it is up to the family to judge when is the good time to change. We are lucky we can move him after he got well from a short illness in the spring. It is always sad to move an elder to a nursing home/facility, but we can positively say we did the right thing.

Regards,
Nina