There seem to be many options for caregiving. As some people prefer, it is always better to have personal home care (living with the family). If the family cannot be there 24 hours, then outside help in the day will assist the family a lot. This is so far the preference that most peopl...
-
family
Connie Moore
Sunday, October 19, 2008 at 05:46 AM
Nina you are so right about everything you said. With the exception of my granddaughter and her husband I don't know what I would do. The only thing his family does is call and complain and play the pretend game that he will get better and not worse. My husband has two sister's and he has three children and all they contribute to this is more stress, they don't visit and the only times they call is when they want something. My parents have helped when they could but they are 79 and 89. They can't travel to TX from Oklahoma to help. I have a daughter that is a trauma nurse that my husband raised and put through nursing school, is she here helping no, her oldest daughter is all I have. My husbands mind worsens and this is getting so emotionally hard. I don't sleep well and I had to have my doctor put me on an antidepressant because it has just got to be to much for me with everything going on. I have tried to take care of my body but have failed, I was just diagnosised with emphysema and it is taking everything I have to keep up and to keep going. I haven't given up and I won't. My husband needs me, No I can't put him in a nursing home but plan to try hospice. I know there are some great places out there but I cannot afford it and with him being a disabled veteran his care would be there. I haven't checked it out yet but I hear it is really bad. Our other doctor that first diagnoised him told me that if I put him there it would be his death sentence it is so bad. This was over two years ago and you know it's bad if she said that to me. she had already talked to me about making arrangements then but I refused. I think my only chance is hospice, if they will pay. People don't realize that even keeping your loved one at home drives you expenses up. Ray needs 24/7 oxygen, the machine the va gave him runs all day and night, my electric bill is over 300.00 a month. I stay so busy taking care of him that I can't do my own yard so I have to pay someone to. Cooking sometimes is almost impossibe because when I get sick I still have to take care of him and all the house hold and that cost me more to get help. The doctor dosen't want me cleaning my house because of the chemicals, how can I not do that. Now with the emphysema they want me to replace the carpet and put in vinyl, tile or hard wood so I can breath better and so can he. What they don't say is how to pay for this. After fifteen years of severe medical problem we are broke, no savings no nothing. I worry constanly and all I get is no help from family and them wanting money I don't have. My saying now is (get a clue) our governent and the average person has no idea what is truly going on in the lives of alzheimers patients and their care givers. Surely there has to be some place someone that knows this and is trying to help us all at least that is my prayer.Connie
re: family
N.C.
Sunday, October 19, 2008 at 06:12 PM
Connie, thanks for your response. You mentioned that you are in bad financial shape. Have you ever considered to put your husband on medicaid so he can get free nursing home if he goes there? You can take off his name from the properties so that he can qualify for medicaid which can help him a lot in a nursing home. It does not cover private home care, but it covers health home care (anything that needs nursing care.)
Check with the social security office to see if he can qualify for some programs to support him and you. I know it must be very hard on you. Hope you will find better solutions soon.
Take care, Nina
re: re: family
Connie Moore
Monday, October 20, 2008 at 05:12 AM
thank you Nina but he is a disabled veteran and his care has to come from there. I have already tried the medicade route and they said no since hes a veteran. Still checking other avenue out though. Have a blessed day Connie
-
Untitled Comment
Sue
Tuesday, October 21, 2008 at 02:59 PM
re: Untitled Comment
N.C.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008 at 04:44 PM
Sue, thanks for your comment. I am glad you think I am useful in this group. I hope I don't gossip too much. I know how some people want to be private and are not willing to open up. I believe in helping other people using our examples. I don't think it is as same as exposing someone's weakness. Well, at times I need to be careful to make sure I say it out of compassion.
Take care,
Nina
Nina you are so right about everything you said. With the exception of my granddaughter and her husband I don't know what I would do. The only thing his family does is call and complain and play the pretend game that he will get better and not worse. My husband has two sister's and he has three children and all they contribute to this is more stress, they don't visit and the only times they call is when they want something. My parents have helped when they could but they are 79 and 89. They can't travel to TX from Oklahoma to help. I have a daughter that is a trauma nurse that my husband raised and put through nursing school, is she here helping no, her oldest daughter is all I have. My husbands mind worsens and this is getting so emotionally hard. I don't sleep well and I had to have my doctor put me on an antidepressant because it has just got to be to much for me with everything going on. I have tried to take care of my body but have failed, I was just diagnosised with emphysema and it is taking everything I have to keep up and to keep going. I haven't given up and I won't. My husband needs me, No I can't put him in a nursing home but plan to try hospice. I know there are some great places out there but I cannot afford it and with him being a disabled veteran his care would be there. I haven't checked it out yet but I hear it is really bad. Our other doctor that first diagnoised him told me that if I put him there it would be his death sentence it is so bad. This was over two years ago and you know it's bad if she said that to me. she had already talked to me about making arrangements then but I refused. I think my only chance is hospice, if they will pay. People don't realize that even keeping your loved one at home drives you expenses up. Ray needs 24/7 oxygen, the machine the va gave him runs all day and night, my electric bill is over 300.00 a month. I stay so busy taking care of him that I can't do my own yard so I have to pay someone to. Cooking sometimes is almost impossibe because when I get sick I still have to take care of him and all the house hold and that cost me more to get help. The doctor dosen't want me cleaning my house because of the chemicals, how can I not do that. Now with the emphysema they want me to replace the carpet and put in vinyl, tile or hard wood so I can breath better and so can he. What they don't say is how to pay for this. After fifteen years of severe medical problem we are broke, no savings no nothing. I worry constanly and all I get is no help from family and them wanting money I don't have. My saying now is (get a clue) our governent and the average person has no idea what is truly going on in the lives of alzheimers patients and their care givers. Surely there has to be some place someone that knows this and is trying to help us all at least that is my prayer.Connie