My mother also has dementia which I could see coming even as she was able to "fool" other family and friends about her condition and ability to be self-sufficient and independent.  As I look back on it, the changes we made were gradually and gently introduced.  It started with her giving up driving, joining a "memory group" at the local Y, and hiring a companion who initially visited my mother at home 3 days a week in the afternoon to prepare and be there with her for dinner.  The companion's hours had to be increased over time but were sufficient until a hospitalization for a fall and fracture made it clear that help would be required on a full time basis.  While this was a very difficult transition for my mother, an extremely independent and high functioning woman all her life, the alternative of a nursing home was just not acceptable.  I am sure that my mother's reaction would have been similar to what you are experiencing now.  Even excellent facilities cannot provide an environment which is imbued with the memory/identity of the individual who has lived in and created that space.  Not every community or situation is fortunate enough to have the resources and options that were available to me and my mother.  However, if it is possible to provide the services that will support and make your mother safe in her own space, why take away those things that she knows and feels to be a part of herself?  While an excellent facility will hopefully keep her safe, it cannot reinforce the self and reduce the ravages this illness causes; her own home has a better chance of preserving or slowing that process.  Just as important as everything above is the primacy of self-determination and the ability to lead one's life as one wishes.  I would not want to take that away from anyone if it could be avoided.