- Introduction
- Diagnosis
- Treatment
- Prevention
-
Caregiving
- Coping with Emotional Changes
- Coping with Memory Loss
- Costs and Insurance
- Creating a Daily Routine
- Exercise
- Health and Wellbeing of the Caregiver
- Home Safety Adjustments
- Mental Exercises
- Respite Care
- Talking to Children about Alzheimer's
- Talking to Friends about Alzheimer's
- Telling Someone They Have Alzheimer's
- Transition to Assisted Living
- Transition to Nursing Home
- Work
- Related Conditions
- Resources
Q: as a male person with advanced dementia my emotional state and ANGER MANAGEMENT SKILLS are terrible hurtful and hard to deal with or explain or apologize for. I seem to have a geshdalt reaction words
Hi Jackieboyo
For someone with what you term ‘advanced Alzheimer’s’ you have remarkable insight into how your feelings and anger affects others. That is good. Admitting you have a problem is the first big step, now you need to do something about it.
Can I suggest you go see your doctor and speak to him about what is happening and ask for his/her suggestions about what medicine has to offer and what services are available to help you.
Contact your local Alzheimer’s Association. They often have support groups for the person with Alzheimer’s and also for their spouses. Other people will be experiencing profound difficulties and what you are feeling is not uncommon. It must be a very difficult time for you both so it is important to seek the help of people who can support you and offer advice.
Christine
Jackieboyo,
I am amazed that you can post here about the problem. It is good that you are aware of your problem. Given advanced dementia, have you asked the doctor to prescribe you some antidepressant? Sometimes it helps as the brain gets sicker along the path. It also depends on your wife - whether she understands how to cope with dementia and etc. I don't know how you got angry and what happened, but it takes two people to deal with this. At times you may be too confused and gets angry because you probably see things differently or may be delusionally or may be with fear or insecurity... You cannot help it. The spouse also needs to stay calm to calm you down. No arguments with you... This seems to be a high order...
Please see a doctor for guidance. A psychiatrist for dementia can be helpful. The doctor can give you some antidepressant. Your wife should seek for help from the nurse or geriatric manager who understands how to cope with dementia.
Sorry the marriage is falling downhill. Dementia does bring lots of stress to the marriage. In the end, the marriage may be in great stress because of the serious memory loss, but it does not have to be so hurtful and angry...
Take care,
NC
Hi Jackieboyo,
I agree with Christine and Nina. You have remarkable insight. Could you talk to your doctor about your medications? They may be causing some of your anger problems. You may be having an interaction or be on the wrong medications. Please get a second opinion if your current doctor says nothing more can be done. You have too much going for you to give up. Medications can do some very good things, but the wrong ones - or too many - can do some very bad things.
Also, the suggestion to contact the Alzheimer's organzation in your community is a good one.
Take care,
Carol
Hi, Jackieboyo,
I am so sorry for you challenges. My parents actually experienced the same issues as Mom's Alzheimer's progressed. They had been married for almost 50 years by the time she was diagnosed; at that point, there was talk of divorce and lots of anger.
I agree with everything the other people have suggested. I would also suggest that your wife may want to learn more about dementia. I'd suggest that she get ahold of a copy of "The 36-Hour Day" by Nancy Mace and Peter Rabins and ask her to read the chapter "How Caring for an Impaired Person Affects You." I had an aha moment upon reading this chapter (as did my dad).
I'd also suggest that she get ahold of a video entitled "It's All in Your Approach" which features dementia educator Teepa Snow. It's a fascinating video that helps caregivers understand how some of these behaviors are actually tied to the dementia's attack on the brain. I wrote a post on this video that may be of interest.
Take care and please do stay in touch!
Dorian
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