I live in AL. My parents lived in FL when dad called me and said he was having difficulty taking care of mom, who has Alzheimer's. I was the only one of 4 children that wanted to help, they all found reasons to say, not me. While living here, dad found out he had prostate cancer. So after spending 2 years in AL, he told me that he felt the need to move back to Greenfield, MA, his hometown. And we discovered it was easier to get mom into a nursing home there, and it was. Dad passed away last Nov but not before giving my brother, who also lives in Greenfield, medical proxy so he could make decisions for mom. I relied on my brother for updates on mom. After a few calls, I was told me to stop bothering him, call the nursing home if i wanted to know something. Since he would give me little to no info, become defensive and hostile if asked any questions, I started calling the nursing home. I found out that some of the things he told me about mom weren't even close to being true. Ex: she doesn't ask about dad anymore. No they said, she asks about him constantly!! I began to wonder if he was visiting at all. A nurse confided in me that mom consistently ran out of diapers, that they were having to supply them for her even tho they weren't supposed to. She also had no panties, and right now was wearing a bra of another resident. She has to wear her coat all day because she didn't have any sweaters. I asked if they had told my brother but she said when he was there he didn't stay long enough for them to catch up with him. I immediately had everything over nighted and made sure they knew to call me if mom started to run out of anything. They even substituted my name as POC and took my brother's off. When my brother found out I had sent her these things, he became livid, went to the nursing home and exercised his 'medical proxy' and forbade them from excepting packages, letters, cards, phone calls, anything from me from now on. If I did disobey his orders and sent her something, they were to set it aside, call him and he would come pick it up. I called the nursing home the next day for an update, not knowing what occured the day before, but was told not to call anymore, not to send packages/supplies, etc. They could no longer speak to me or give me any updates. I was told that my brother informed them that any communication from me was detrimental to his mother's health. I was stunned, I couldn't believe the people who were so happy to know I cared were now telling me to quit calling. I don't blame them, I understand they were doing what they had to do, or at least what they believe they had to do. Now, after 5 1/2 months with no word of my mother, I realize that my brother felt 'exposed' because I found out he was not using mom's money to supply her with things others take for granted. I do know that there was quite a bit of dad's life insurance money left after paying his expenses. And there is mom's social security check. Mom's checks and dad's insurance money are in dad's checking account, of which my brother can withdrawal money whenever he wants. He is robbing my mother of her money and her dignity! I've heard that he and his wife have now been able to do the major renevations needed on their apt building so I have to wonder where this new found money has come from. My older sister told me, right after dad passed away, that jeff "was having trouble hiding money from the nursing home". Now, for whatever reason, she has allied herself with my brother. I've tried contacting the company that owns the nursing home but never received a reply. I don't know what to do. My intention in sending my mother those items had nothing at all to do with my brother. The nurse who told me about mom's needs said she was surprised to hear mom had any other children and was glad to know she did have one who cared! I love my mother, I want to know how she is, I want to visit her! My father would never, ever have believed that Jeff could be so evil and selfish. I can't believe it either. Is there anything at all that I can do?? I live in Huntsville, AL and I feel so helpless.