My father in law has had Alzheimers for a number of years and has lately become more violent and aggresive. We are struggling to get good medication to try to combat this. I realise its the way the disease can run but can anyone suggest anything?
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9/ 6/09 8:45am
A lot depends on his strength and the strenth and size of his caregivers. Some people can calm a person in the violent stages of Alzheimer's by holding their hands and talking to them firmly. However, I wouldn't suggest this if the person is very strong or larger than the caregiver. You must think of the safety of the caregivers. I've even heard of some people with Alzheimer's pulling knives from kitchen drawers and taking after friends or family. They can get very paranoid and it makes sense to them.
I'm glad you are looking at medications. If he gets too hard to handle and medications can't help, it may be time for facility care. This is often the breaking point of home care, as the caregiver can no longer handle the violent attacks safely. The person could injure the caregiver (which they would feel horrible about if they could understand), or even injure themselves.
One thing to know: this is not unusual and you aren't alone in this frightening and painful situation.
blessings,
Carol
9/ 6/09 1:04pm
My father-in-law is in a similar situation this year. He began to forget what my husband does and there were 2 or 3 times when he acted up with the his favoriate female caregiver. We were told by the home care that at this time, a nursing home is worse for him as he will fight more. The homes depending on the regulations and culture of the homes may restrict him by force or tying him up. The home care boss even said some may put him in dark room as "he is not behaving".
Somehow at this point, the best approach is the ones done by the caregivers - if this caregiver does not help, find the other caregiver whom he trusts so he can be comforted. e.g., in our case, the female lady irritated him so that he called the neighbor. Later the male caregiver who came to the next shift was able to comfort him as my FIL complained to him about her. A lot of comforting and distraction and activities. If one takes him out to the lake, it may help too. The trigger is the key. e.g., the reason that he was irritated is the lady kept telling him we were coming that night but he kept asking so she stopped saying it. It is a simple trigger. Another person's presence like the neighbor or the male caregiver helped.
Of course, if you cannot contain him, you may need to ask for new medications to stop his aggression. If all fail, then a nursing home may be considered for his safety.
You are not alone.
Take care,
Nina
9/ 6/09 5:58pm
Hi, Paul,
I'd echo both what Carol and Nina have shared. I would also reiterate that you should think about if there is a certain trigger that prompts your father-in-law to become aggressive. That could be a certain person or activity. In my mom's case, she started to become violent when she was around one particular resident in the nursing home. It was so bad that when I pushed Mom's wheelchair past this resident, I could watch their eyes lock onto each other, their bodies stiffen, and their anger start to mount. The staff and I learned to keep these two far apart and to make sure they were around other residents and staff members who soothed them.
Another trigger that would set off my mom's temper was talking about her finances. She was convinced that my father was stealing from her. I learned when she started to become angry about this to let her know that I had spoken to my cousin (who she adored and was a stockbroker who did have some of her accounts) and that he had said her finances were fine. She never got to being totally violent, but I think that changing the subject helped dampen some of that anger.
The final trigger, I found, was my own reactions and mood. One time I let Mom get under my skin on a minor detail and lost my own temper. A few hours later, my angry outburst came boomaranging back at me with my mother (who had a sitter at that point) yelling at me over the cell phone, telling me to get back home in 10 minutes or she was going to start breaking things. After that experience, I learned to keep my cool and to emotionally step back from difficult situations so that she couldn't "feed" off of any negative emotions from me.
Take care and keep us posted!
Dorian
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By paul-m— Last Modified: 12/19/10, First Published: 09/06/09
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