My granda is 91 years old and is suffering from alzheimer's and dementia, they are quite advanced and he has very few lucid moments.He was only diagonosed in August. He is also suffering from arthiritis throughout his body. He has recently been diagonesd with a mass around his intestine as well as his lung and the base of his lung has collapsed. His lymph glands are swollen.My nanny his wife died at the end of september 2010 and he misses her so much. I really don't know what we as his family should do for the best. Any advice would be great, thanks Claire x.
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3/ 5/11 8:24am
If he isn't under hospice care, I'd advise that you look into that. They can help manage the pain. It sounds like he is terminal, and frankly, many people at that age, once they lose their spouse, also lose their will to live. Other health problems come up, and they are "ready to go." Whether that is the case or not, hospice care can help manage the pain so he can better relate to his loved ones with whatever time he has left, in his few lucid moments.
Be with him when you can. If he enjoys it, hold his hand (watch his body language to tell if he likes it or if he gets distressed). Tell him you love him. Play music he enjoys. Give him whatever you think he'd enjoy. If he wants to talk about his wife, help him remember good times. He probably hears you even if he doesn't respond.
Blessings to you. You sound very caring. I know this is hard, but he is probably ready to join is wife, as he's already lost a great deal of what it means to be alive. I'm guessing, of course, but I've seen this often. Some people rally and move on, but he sounds like he doesn't have much time left. Be tender and loving, as you are. That's maybe all you can do.
Carol
3/ 4/11 8:24pm
Clarie,
Is he at home or in a nursing home? If he is home alone or is cared for at home by family, I would suggest that he goes to a nice nursing home for memory impaired so the nurses there can give him 24 hours attention.
Did you talk to his doctor? The doctor should tell the family what state he really is in. If he needs pain killer, he should be given. I don't know how bad the cancer is and I guess he will not be treated given his old age. Hospice can be used at this point. It does not mean he will die soon for sure. It allows 6 months stay and then he can re-apply to stay there. Hospice can make him comfortable before the end comes. It sounds like he is very sick and must feel lots of physical and mental pain. I would suggest you pick to a nursing home for memory impaired so they know how to deal wi th dementia people as well as their physical illness.
About his late wife's death, at this point, you probably can soothe him and tell him that she is not here at this moment but don't dwell on the details since he has poor memory.
Hope this helps,
NC
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By claire— Last Modified: 10/26/11, First Published: 03/04/11
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