She won't let my brother (primary caregiver) care for her. This usually begins in the evening and goes on through the night. The next morning she has no recollection of these events and is more cooperative. We feel a sitter for the evening hours would be a great help to my brother and that he can then handle the daytime care. My mother is adamant that she does not need a "babysitter" and will most likely be agitated by a sitter. Will she likely respond better to an outside person even though she complains and argues about it to us?
- Introduction
- Diagnosis
- Treatment
- Prevention
-
Caregiving
- Coping with Emotional Changes
- Coping with Memory Loss
- Costs and Insurance
- Creating a Daily Routine
- Exercise
- Health and Wellbeing of the Caregiver
- Home Safety Adjustments
- Mental Exercises
- Respite Care
- Talking to Children about Alzheimer's
- Talking to Friends about Alzheimer's
- Telling Someone They Have Alzheimer's
- Transition to Assisted Living
- Transition to Nursing Home
- Work
- Related Conditions
- Resources
Q: My 86 year old mother is in the mid stage of Alzheimer's and is now having delusions that her children are stealing from her.
Answers (3)
7/22/12 7:33am
Hi Brenda,
I think it's worth a try. Accusation of stealing is such a common part of AD, and is likely one of the most painful things a family caregiver has to deal with. An outside person wouldn't be so affected emotionally. Just tell her that's how it must be because your brother needs some rest. Please try it and see if it helps.
Blessings to you and your brother,
Carol
7/22/12 12:43pm
Brenda,
I think it is worth hiring someone else who is more objective. Also it is sundowning and whenever the day gets darker, she will feel depressed and more agitated. More lights in the room/house helps. Pull up the curtains if it is dark outside. It is possbile she thinks her loved ones takes things away from her and calls it stealing. Don't worry about it. She is just confused. Don't get mad at it and be humorous because it is just not true and it is her confusion.
Also it helps if brother takes a break. He needs times off and he cannot do this - it is not a one-man job. He needs help. This person does not have to convince her that she needs a sitter. Just be around her and watch her and ignore her anger. Gradually she will get used to this new person. Also sometimes she would be nicer to the outsiders because she has to be polite. She does not have to be polite to her own son, but she would put up a face to make herself look good. So if the new person does not irritate her or annoy her, she may even like the person and get used to it.
Regards,
NC
7/25/12 12:54pm
Hi, Brenda,
I had the same experience. Mom was convinced that my dad was stealing from her. A sitter may work in your mom's case; it's definitely worth a try.
Actually, there was something else that seemed to work for me. When Mom would go off on this tangent, I'd tell her that I recently had talked to my cousin John, who she adored and who was a stockbroker who handled many of her accounts. I told her I had asked John whether there were any concerns about Dad stealing and told her that John had said no. To be honest, this was a white lie - I never talked to John because I knew that Dad wasn't stealing. But hear this news regularly when she made the claim seemed to calm her down and helped her get out of that broken record of "He's stealing from me!"
So you may have to be creative in how you get her past this belief. And be sure to encourage your brother to have patience and to remain calm because these claims can really grate on him.
Take care and keep us posted!
Dorian
Important:
We hope you find this general health information helpful. Please note however, that this Q&A is meant to support not replace the professional medical advice you receive from your doctor. No information in the Answers above is intended to diagnose or treat any condition. The views expressed in the Answers above belong to the individuals who posted them and do not necessarily reflect the views of Remedy Health Media. Remedy Health Media does not review or edit content posted by our community members, but reserves the right to remove any material it deems inappropriate.
12 Ways to Slow Mental Decline 
10 Signs of Alzheimer's 
10 Ways to Protect Your Brain Against Alzheimer’s 
Seven Facts You Should Know About Alzheimer's Disease
By brenda— Last Modified: 07/25/12, First Published: 07/21/12
Featuring Content From:
- About Us |
- Contact Us |
- Privacy Policy |
- Terms of Use |
- Security Policy |
- Advertising Policy |
- Advertise With Us
By using this service, you accept our Terms of Use. Please read them. The consumer health information on is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. You should promptly seek professional medical care if you have any concern about your health, and you should always consult your physician before starting a fitness regimen. Copyright © 2013 Remedy Health Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
