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Hi trosclair   It is very difficult. She has just moved to the nursing home so I think what she is saying, symbolically, is that she is disorientated and her environment is unfamiliar. I think this situation will eventually settle down. To challenge her belief will not change them. What will hopefully change quite soon is that her levels of anxiety will decrease as her new routine becomes more established.   It is very hard for you to have to deal with a reminder of your father's death. I am so sorry for that. How does your step-dad cope? Can you provide each other with support?   Try distracting activities, take her out for a walk/drive/a walk round her new home etc. If you can both say the same thing to her then move the conversation in each time it will help to have a consistent approach. For example-Both of you say 'He/I am your husband now'. Always use a brief sentence in a calm soft voice, do not go into any great detail as she will not take the information on board (as you have found out!).   I agree with Carol kindness, reassurance, is the best way forward. Change the subject even when she continues repeating herself. Visiting in the morning (if possible) may help as she may act and think differently when she is less fatigued.   All my best wishes   Christine