Wednesday, December 28, 2011 Michelle asks

Q: How do you get your loved one with Dementia/Alzheimers to stop driving his car without a big fight?

My dad still thinks he is ok to drive and wants to take my mom or family members to dr appts and to the store. He is going to kill someone, he doesn't watch what he is doing. He also has neuropothy from diabetes and he has feeling loss in his extremeties. He falls at least once daily and is losing his eyesight. He gets mad if we say anything about him not driving.

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Answers (7)

Christine Kennard, Health Guide

12/28/11 5:08am

Hi Michelle

Getting people with Alzheimer's to stop driving is a common and distressing problem for all parties.We have had a number of shareposts that deal with this so I am giving you links to them;

Dorian's article gives some distrubing facts about the dangers of prople with Alzheimer's driving and their danger to themselves and others-

Hit the brakes! Study Focuses on Safety of drivers who have Alzheimer's

The Driving: Ideas for helping a loved one stop

Carol's sharepost also gives more ideas on stopping elders driving when they become too impaired

Hope these help

All my best wishes

Christine

Carol Bradley Bursack, Health Guide

12/28/11 7:11am

I'd like to add that local law enforcement in many areas are getting on board with this problem. If you write them a letter telling them of your concern, they may contact your dad and say that he needs to come in for a test. That is often easier than you trying to do this yourself. Most elders will fight for their "right" to drive, because they see it as their independence. They don't want to think about the fact that they could injure or kill someone else. If they hear from the Motor Vehicle Department, they are more likely to follow through, and it sounds like your dad won't get his license renewed.

Please so read the articles Christine mentioned. They will give you more insight.

Take care,

Carol

AFA Social Services, Health Guide

12/29/11 1:41pm

Driving is a privilege that your father has most likely enjoyed for most of his life, and may represent a sense of autonomy and mastery over his environment. Depending upon which stage of the disease your father is at, he may or may not be able to engage in a discussion about his driving; his ability to rationalize and his judgment may be impaired. If it is not possible to have such a discussion, you or another family member may have to take steps to simply stop the risky behavior. Such actions might include asking his doctor for a "prescription" note that advises that driving is no longer possible and must be stopped. Also, many cities offer a driving assessment program that is either administered by, or run in cooperation with, police departments or the motor vehicles departments (DMV). Such programs will take away a license if the participant is too impaired to pass the assessment. Inquire about such programs by calling your motor vehicles bureau. If none of these tactics seem possible, it is important to consider some other ideas, including hiding or removing keys to the car, dismantling certain features of the car engine system so it is inoperable, or even removing the car entirely. While some of these actions may seem forceful or aggressive, such actions might be necessary to ensure the safety of the individual with the disease as well as other family members and others on the roads.

Dorian Martin, Health Guide

12/29/11 3:09pm

Hi, Michelle,

I agree with everyone else's feedback. In my mom's case, we knew we had to get her to stop, but she was a very strong woman who wasn't going to take "No" from her husband and children. So I thought about who would most influence her to stop - her lung doctor, who she revered. Even though it wasn't his area of expertise, I asked him to write a letter to her telling her that she shouldn't be driving. Mom at that point was living with me so whenever she started talking about going out for a drive, I pulled that letter out and had her read it. Even though she wasn't happy about it, the recommendation from her beloved doctor carried enough weight that she didn't grab the car keys and go off.

Take care and keep us posted!

Dorian

1/ 5/12 4:10pm

Michelle,

Everyone here has good answers. I just want to add that sometimes you can use the fact that he forgets certain things to deal with it. Usually it is not going to work if you tell him to stop it. You can try to come up with some excuses. e.g., DMV said he is not allowed to drive due to his disease and diabetes. e.g., the car is broken. You can take out the battery or take away the car key. Sell the car or remove the car. Your Mom should say no to him and get other rides. It is hard when he still remembers that he wants to drive. Ask a doctor to talk to him about the danger of his driving. Maybe he will trust the person and think about it.

My father-in-law listened to the DMV or the recommendation from a doctor and he stopped driving. He did not renew his license in 2006 so naturally he could not drive anymore. Gradually we used the fact that he forgot more and donated his broken car. Now he is in severe stage of Alzheimers and does not care about driving anymore. He did get lost once but he came home. Somehow he knew that he needed to find out if he could drive. Everyone is different. I hope someone can persuade your dad to stop driving. Also if he stops driving, you should reassure him that someone else will drive him. Maybe you can hire a part-time driver or caregiver.

Hope this helps,
NC

HiOnLife

1/ 6/12 6:20pm

I just want to mention you can disable a car/truck fairly quickly by pulling a Fuse(usually a 50 AMP) to the starter in the Fuse Box under the hood. Quicker and cleaner than removing a battery and keeps power to dash settings. I would suggest a note in the fuse box explaining the situation just in case a service tech is called.

Carol Bradley Bursack, Health Guide

1/ 7/12 8:42am

Hi Michelle,

Versions of your story are being acted out all over the country. In some states, the DMV, if alerted by letter, will call the person in for a driving test. If your dad won't listen to the doctor (I assume you've asked for input from his doctor, but if not, try that), then write the state division in charge of driving. Ask not to be mentioned, but give them the facts. They can send him a letter and state that he's due for a driving test. They should be able to figure out from watching him drive that he shouldn't be doing so. They will then pull his license. You may still have a fight, but it's a start.

Take care,

Carol

Carol Bradley Bursack, Health Guide

5/ 3/12 1:06pm

alz.org/driving has a lot of information on driving cessation, as well. It's never easy to get an elder who wants to drive to give it up, so doing so without a battle of some type is unlikely. Hopefully, this resources will give you some tips.

Carol

Barbara Brock

5/ 3/12 9:19am

There is a cognitive test known as the Reality Comprehension Clock Test (RCCT)

RCCTcertified health care professionals can administer the RCCT. There are numerous RCCT certified professionals in the U.S.

RCCT results will help identify your father's remaining cognitive skills and his stage of dementia.

You can learn more by going to the web site : www.clocktestrcct.com

Click on the power of the RCCT to view some examples.

There is also one that talks about elderly memory impaired drivers.