Friday, November 13, 2009 Dawn asks

Q: How do I get my Mother to throw her dirty toliet paper in the toliet when shes finished

My mother is in her 7th stage I believe there are days where she wont say a word to anyone not even her imaginatry friends. Then maybe 1 day out of the week she will laugh and smile the way she use to every day. I hate what this deasease has done to her. I still try to interact with her she seams to trust me and wants me around even is I should make her mad in one way or another. I can even sometimes calm her down. She knows that the toliet paper is dirty she use to go to the neighbors house and drink beer and over there you cant throw the paper in the toliet and Im thinking that in her mind she is at this house. When I first came home to take care of her she would point at the house and now she dont even look at it or notice it. Sometimes Im just as confused as she is trying to understand where she is at any certin moment.. ( in her own mind)

- A
- A
- A

Answers (5)

Carol Bradley Bursack, Health Guide

11/13/09 11:33am

It's possible she is just confused about what to do with it. Her experience with a home where she couldn't dispose of it in the toilet has made this more difficult. I don't know that there is much you can do, as she will likely forget what you do tell her. It may just be one of those things you have to live with. Not pleasant or sanitary, but a reality of life.

It's hard to watch these changes. Please take care of yourself, too.

Carol

11/13/09 12:44pm

If your Mom is in stage 7 instead of stage 6, I think it is not realistic to expect her to do toilet business properly. Not really. She needs to be cued or even watched by the caregiver whenever she goes. You need to tell her to wash hands and etc. Not to mention throwing the dirt to the right place! Sometimes she could even want to touch the dirt (bowel) in the toilet out of curiosity. This happened to my FIL who is in stage 6. Twice he was told not to touch the dirt as he claimed that he wanted to "sample" it for the lab!! (He used to do research in labs as a professor.)

I am impressed that she can still laugh/smile at you sometimes and still trusts you. We are not at stage 7 yet so I need to learn from you.

Everyone is different in stage 7 - some are slow and some are fast going downhill. You may want to consider a home some day. I heard that my FIL would not be able to stay home if he gets agitated in late stage 6/early stage 7. Good luck!

Take care,

Nina

11/13/09 12:50pm

I don't think she can recognize the houses - hers or the neighbor's. My FIL has already forgot his house saying he does not notice that it is his house for 45 years. But he responds to the fact that we told him it is his house. He does not have a clue anymore. He only remembers he painted the house outside if he sits outside. He has no idea why the neighbors cannot give him money or are not his caregivers. We are the caregivers who hired home care for him. My FIL lost memory about his son as a child. He forgot his elder son in Europe who he never met again for 45 years. He is in Illinois.

He is afraid of photos unless he is in a mood for 2 or 3 photos.

Your Mom may tell you she knows certains things, but she said that using the info. you tell her. She does not really remember. These elders are tricky - sometimes you think they know but it is not the true memory. (You can tell if you test her by asking more info. about the past.)

Nina

Joseph

11/13/09 10:10pm

Hi Dawn, Although I have no experience with stage 7 and realize that your mom's memory limitations are severe at this point, I do have a suggestion that you might try. It may be a longshot, but at least, it won't cost much money to try it.

Try putting some toilet paper in the bowl to possibly create a visual connection for her when she goes. She may not see it immediately, but may notice it at somepoint. You could even suggest to her that she put it there and praise her efforts. Continual reinforcement for a period of days may eventually produce results.

Approach this project with low expectations to avoid a lot of disappointment. If it works, it will be a joy to behold! Maybe that one good day a week will be the magic moment! Good luck with this! -- Joe

butterflies88

11/20/09 2:29pm

Well girl I have the same problem with my mom(in stage5) and I don't know where she gets it from. The only thing I can think of is she's affraid to stop up the toliet. I have to tell her that the toliet paper goes in the toliet. I guess I'm going to have to take the trash can out of the bathroom. Anyway good luck.God Bless, Cindi

Q: How do I get my Mother to throw her dirty toliet paper in the toliet when shes finished

Related Questions

Ask a Question