Are you supposed to try to bring a alzheimer patient up to the present life if they go back in time?
My mother fell and also now has COPD along with her Alzheimer. While she was in the hospital in a matter of 8 hours she kept asking me where my Dad was. My father died in 1961. She was like she was back to that time of her life. She kept telling me Daddy dropped her off on his way to work and she hoped he wasn't late. I only informed her once that Daddy died. After several questions, I just answered her and did not want to tell her all day something sad. Is that right. Should we try to bring the patient up to current day if they are not there?
Hi, Mom's Baby,
You are asking a good question. My mom also would go back into the past and talk about people (mostly her parents) who had died. After trying initialy to bring her back, I learned to just let her remain in the past. If she would ask, "Have you seen Mom and Dad?", I'd say that I hadn't and then move the conversation to a different topic.
Also please know that your mom's mental "time travel" will vary; this happened quite a bit with my mom. What you may find is that at some point your mom may know that her husband died, and then several weeks later, she is sure that she just saw your dad a moment ago.
As hard as this is, I'd suggest that you let her be in her own time. By consistently trying to bring her back to the present, you risk having her get agitated and have an outburst.
Take care and keep us posted!
Dorian
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This depends on the stage. I, personally, feel that it's better to go into their world if it's distressing for them when you try to bring them into yours.
In the earlier stages, if you can gently bring them back to your reality, then that's fine. Or if you can distract them and just "skip it," that can work.
But in the later stages they are in their own reality, and will just fight you if you tell them they are wrong. Or they will feel diminished. Who wants to be told they are always wrong? If the person if beyond comprehending what it going on in today's world, and is more content living in the past, what does it hurt? I always felt, with my dad's dementia, that it was my job to go "where he was." He didn't have Alzheimer's, as his dementia was surgically induced, but it was a similar siutation, except it was instant.
You may find you and your mother both relax when you "bo back in time" with her.
Carol
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A person with Alzheimers will remember the past because it is in their long-term memory part of the brain. The recent or short-term memory is more likely to be forgotten quickly, therefore, even if you tell them the present events, it is likely that they will forget and you can if you wish tell them again. This process of retelling present information can be frustrating for any caregiver, family member, or friend. However, it is important to realize that the forgetting is part of the disease process.
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