Saturday, September 20, 2008 spencer asks

Q: Time for my parents to go to memory unit?

Both my parents have dementia, and I just found out that my mom has been sleeping for almost the whole day for months now. No one until yesterday said a word about this until when I spoke to my dad about her falling asleep so often. They live in an assisted living, plus have their own 24/7 aide. However, as time goes on the aide spends most of his time tending to my dad who is finding it harder and harder to to manipulate his walker while his legs tremble which he insists on using most of the time. For going to the dining room, he uses a wheelchair. So, he is not a reliable source of any info about my mom, nor has the aide ever told me about this either. About a week ago, she was in the bathroom in their apt. with the door closed and she obviously had fallen asleep and when she reached for her walker, she fell and thank goodness did not hurt herself. She has fallen asleep in the bathroom more than once.

I am ready to have them moved to the memory unit to get all the care they now need. Should I go ahead with these plans?

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Answers (4)

Carol Bradley Bursack, Health Guide

9/21/08 8:47am

I would definitely start researching local nursing homes and find the one you like best, and get them on a list, at least. It sometimes takes time to get into a good facility. I'd also talk with the social worker at the assisted living center. They may be at a point where they just can't provide the care needed, in which case you should be looking at a nursing home with a memory unit.

Carol

AFA Social Services, Health Guide

9/23/08 3:45pm

For starters I would like to commend you for being so proactive in your parents' care. It is so important for individuals with dementia to be tracked during their progression, as different needs and demands can surface with time. Although I suspect you know your parents well and can sense changes in their health status, I advise you to consult with a physician and a social worker before proceeding with your plans. First, it is important to discuss your mother's sleeping habits with her physician to see what might be causing this. A consultation with a medical professional can help guide you in your decision making process regarding transferring them, and point out issues that you may not have been aware of. If you decide to transfer them to a memory unit, it is also a good idea to consult with the medical professionals there so that they can have a sense of your parents' individual needs prior to entry. This can also promote a smoother transition. You might also want to research nursing facilities with Alzheimer's units for future care. It is not always easy to find a unit that you feel comfortable with, and that have available beds, so it is a good idea to plan in advance and tour facilities well before the time comes. It can be helpful to come up with a list of 5 or so facilities that you prefer, and when the time is right, ask about available admission or have their names added to a waiting list.

Joseph

11/ 4/09 5:06pm

I'm facing similar circumstances with my mother sleeping a great deal in her assisted living apartment. I have no doubt that trying to make sense of things with dementia expends a lot of mental energy and causes fatigue, leading to an increased need for sleep. Assuming that your mother has no underlying health issue causing the excessive sleeping, you may suggest to the assisted living caregivers that they try to involve your mom in some in-house activities. Finding activities that are easy like simple craft projects will motivate her. My mom makes greeting cards and attends movies sometimes. She looks forward to going to the in-house hairdresser every Friday. Without some structure, boredom may lead to depression and more sleep. Moving is disruptive, also. It can lead to more problems since those familiar things will be gone. A new environment will present learning challenges and may create a "lost" feeling as she looks for her apartment in an unfamiliar place. If your mom is content and not having any behavioral issues, you may want to wait until some other circumstances develop making the move more necessary. This will also give you time to investigate dementia care facilities in your area.

Dawn

11/13/09 9:40am

We all know that sooner or later we will all have to make a dessesion weather or not its time to have someone eles more experienced take care of our loved ones. I comend you on your efforts to take care of both your parents. I take care of my Mother, My Father is a double amputee and with both of them my hands are full. But I think you know in your heart weather or not you are able to take care of her in the way she needs. If your sure you cant then yes I would say let someone else who can take care of her do thats what they are here for. You can always see her everyday. And with alittle prayer and Gods help she will remain here just a little bit longer, because of having the proper care.

Q: Time for my parents to go to memory unit?

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