It depends on her stage of Alzheimer's. If she is in stage 6/7, then it is just her fantasy that she wants to go back to her house. She is confused as to where she is. My father-in-law is in stage 6 and he is even confused when he is in his own house!

It is safer for her to be in this wonderful nursing home. If she insists, you can distract her or ask the professionals there to help you/her out.

If she is in earlier stage like 3,4 or 5, you can consult her doctor and the health professionals as to what is best for her. Since she will get worse, I would recommend that she stays there for everyone's good. Just consult the professionals what to do about this. You can take her to the groups and have activities to distract her from talking about where she is.

Nina

That was perhaps the hardest conversation that I had with my mom. When Mom asked me why she was locked up at the nursing home, I took her hand and said that she was having memory problems and I was worried about what would happen if she was living with me or by herself. Mom replied that her memory was fine. I asked her if she knew that I visited her daily and what our routine was during those visits. She looked puzzled and said, "You do?" I said yes, and asked her if she wanted me to get a nurse to confirm what I was telling her. She shook her head no, adding, "My memory is worse than I thought it was." (And I had to repeat this conversation several days in a row.)

I also often told Mom (when she asked when she could get out) that the doctor would be the person who would make the decision about whether she could leave the unit. She didn't like that answer (and often wanted me to get him on the phone immediately). I'd disappear for a few minutes down the hall where she couldn't see me and then return to tell her that I had called the doctor's office but he wasn't available. I promised that I would try again later. And yes, I told a white lie, but my rationale was that this approach would calm Mom down and help our time together be more pleasant.

So my suggestion is coming up with a reason (whether it's memory loss or the doctor's orders), and then turn the conversation to something else. (She'll soon forget that she asked if she's talking about something else that interests her.) Stay patient and stay focused.

Take care!

Dorian