This is tough, but not unusual. It's a stage that will likely pass, but if you can get your mother, the caregiver, to find him some harder to remove underwear, that may help. Or the opposite - easier to remove if a factor in this is that he doesn't want to stuggle to get clothes off to go to the bathroom.

I think you and she will have to try to figure out what the trigger is for him to do this, and then try to deal with it from that angle. Maybe someone has a magic answer for this. I don't, but I do think it's a highly individual thing and the solution may be trial and error, too.

Clothing options and getting him to the bathroom as often as he will cooperate are the only things I can suggest. That, and time and patience, as he will get beyond this stage, too.

Likely, if everyone washes up regularly and you explain it to the kids - that Grandpa can't help it but this is unhealthy and tell them how to avoid touching contaminated surfaces, they will likely be okay. They should obviously wash their hands well after every visit and be told not to put their hands in their mouths or rub their eyes, but that's hard for kids to remember, so try to keep an eye on them when they are around Grandpa.

As I said, we know this is tough. I hope someone has something more to contribute.

Carol

You present a very serious concern. First, discuss the incontinence with your father's physician to see if there are any underlying medical or psychological causes contributing to or causing his incontinence that might be reversible and treatable.

Otherwise, there are a few suggestions you can look into on how to manage his current behavior. My first suggestion would be to identify his daily bathroom patterns. Document the time of day he takes a bowel movement for an entire week and see if a pattern forms. If you find that he uses the bathroom around 12pm every day, have your mother approach him around 11:45am and remind him that it's time to go to use the bathroom while escorting him in and supervising the process. Essentially, what she will be doing is anticipating that he might have an accident (even if he doesn't), and that might possibly help prevent it from reoccurring. Many individuals with dementia require frequent redirection, and if he has an accident in the middle of the room, his instinct might urge him to dispose of the waste immediately, one way or another. He might not comprehend the nature of this waste or the potential bacterial hazards, so it could be helpful if his wife instructs him on where to go to the bathroom and how to flush away the waste. She can also ensure that he washes his hands directly afterward.

As for public situations, it may not be as easy to manage his behavior due to restrictions in location, convenience, time, etc. Your mother might find it helpful to invest in an adaptive jumper for your father when they leave the home for extended periods of time. This jumper should be specially designed so he cannot easily remove it on his own (the zipper is often located in the back). The function of this design is such that he won't remove his pants in public or have access to his undergarments. As he is incontinent, she should consider putting an adult undergarment on him in case he has an accident. If the accident does happen, at least he will not be able to remove his clothes in public and dispose of it until his wife is in a private place assisting him.

For many individuals with dementia, the feel of something can be comforting to them, even if it's something that may appear dangerous or offensive to us. In fact, it is not uncommon to find a person with dementia playing with their feces and spreading them on the walls and on themselves. Although it's not always easy to explain such behaviors, there are ways of mitigating them. A suggestion would be to occupy your father with recreational activities that would activate his senses, particularly touch and smell. You may want to see how he responds to Play-Doh, or sand, or even cake batter. The idea is to get him involved in an activity that would stimulate his senses and keep him occupied in a positive way.