Dad lives by himself. About 2 years ago it started with him not wanting to be around us at all. Then we learned he was hallucinating. He was actually shooting at the people he saw. (He lived on 30 acres at that time.) The people were touching his stuff so he packed all his knick knacks away. He actually heard the sound as their car drove away. I called Adult Protective Services for help and they made home visits, but 2 case workers said there was nothing they could do to help us (they saw the bullet holes in the wall, the rotting food in the fridge, and the 2x4s holding up the ceiling in multiple places in the house, he had no running water because he said he did not owe the water bill). Finally he decided to move to get away from the people. Long story - but I ended up helping him buy a house in a neighborhood convenient for Mom and I to watch him and took his guns into protective custody. He also was not paying his bills - and got turned into bill collectors.
My Mom and he are married but they live apart (Dad has always been hard to live with but Mom did not want to divorce him - we live in Texas so it's legal). Dad signed full medical and durable power of attorney to Mom and I both so we could help with his finances. However, he thinks I am stealing his money, he thinks he has no money, etc. Most times he cannot remember my name. He depends on Mom for a lot. But behind her back he tells people she is after his money.
So that all being said he still drives which scares me but I don't know how to take away his license. It's going to be awful. I have more stories but.... I am so scared he's going to hurt someone or himself. Dad's a disabled vet and there seems to be a facility near the VA hospital in Temple that has an Alzheimers care ward. Mom and I are going to go visit it soon. Mom's feeling terrible about thinking about sending him to a facility and thinks maybe she could move in with him. I told her it might be dangerous considering the hallucinations.
I am also worried about all the financial stuff of him going into a facility. It's hard to get an answer from the VA. I want to make sure Mom's finances are ok.
I have an appointment with an attorney tomorrow. I am so confused about what to do. I keep hoping for a one stop shop that gives me all the answers. I was hoping the VA would come thru. That some stranger will say - "I am sorry - your Dad has to go into a facility" and it won't be Mom and I making that choice. And then we are just there for him and we say I am sorry and we love you and we do whatever we can to make him more comfortable. Does that make sense?
I am so happy I found this website. I am so tired of this emotional roller coaster. thank you!