I am so sorry you are going through this with the VA. A lot depends on who you get. I had an expeience I tried to clear up after my dad's death (it started before, but took so long) and their response left me feeling like I'd been kicked in the stomach. I nearly vomited. The injustice was so disgusting. But he was dead by then, so I left it. It still left a bitter taste in my mouth, but I've had to let it go. It does me no good to harbor the bad feelings.   Sometimes, to get the funding you need to go along, but it's frustrating and hard. And your dad is all the more confused. Getting guardianship will help, but that, too, is a long road. You are in my heart. Blessings, Carol