Where can my family find placement for a violent Alz dad--Greenville, SC?
Dad is 76, formally diagnosed w/Alz 5 yrs ago, but had begun long before that. My mom, also 76, was his caregiver all those yrs and refused help, even support groups. 3 mos ago he became violent and we only found out on Fathers Day when we saw the bruises on Mom's throat, arms & face. When confronted, she admitted Dad had tried to strangle her on a number of occasions, grabbed her wrists and bent her hands backwards and sprained them, slapped her (fortunately w/open hand) so hard that it knocked her to the floor, etc. My brother spent that night w/them and Dad almost strangled him...he called E911 and had Dad transported to the ER, from there he went to a behavioral ctr. They put him on Depakote, increasing the dose to 500mgX3/day which made Dad sleep most of the time. So the social worker @ this behavioral ctr said Dad was ready to be transferred to a nursing home--unfortunately, mom chose a cheap one that mismanaged Dad's meds (or were just afraid to get the meds IN him after he slapped at them). He fell trying to attack an aide who was trying to change his diaper and knocked himself out cold---another trip to the ER, then back to the nursing home. 2 nights later,he ended up trying to strangle an aide there, tossed a halfsize fridge across the room at the supervisory nurse and was sent BACK to the ER, then readmitted to the behavioral center. Just in the past month, my brother and I have lost 4 unpaid days of work and CANNOT afford to continue this path.
Problem is, Dad has now developed bedsores on his hips where he sleeps so much sitting in chairs. We have looked at so MANY places in our area (Greenville, SC) and each place tells us we NEED to get Dad out of the behavioral center and into a good nursing home---great, but after evaluation (seeing the violent episodes in Dad's chart) they usually turn him down. I printed out a list of skilled nursing homes from the Alz Assoc and we are going through them, one by one.
Any ideas, PLEASE, from ANYONE?
The situation that your father is in is not uncommon. On one hand, your father needs the safe environment of a nursing home, but on the other hand, his previous behaviors may be hindering him from gaining admission. Nursing homes generally have an admissions criterion which can make entry a complex and challenging process at times. Judging by your posting, it seems as though you have made tremendous efforts in trying to find a suitable location for your father but with little success. I would like to offer a few additional suggestions. For starters, it may be a good idea to have your father's medication regimen reevaluated by a doctor, or preferably a geriatric psychiatric or pscyhopharacologist. There are a number of treatments on the market designed to alleviate these kinds of symptoms and a clinician may suggest another medication regimen that your dad might respond better to. Another suggestion would be to specifically search for specialized dementia care units within nursing homes. Many nursing facilities are willing to accept individuals with dementia or Alzheimer's disease, but may not have specialized programs that are specifically designed to meeting their special needs. If their staff is not trained to deal with these needs, the individuals with dementia may not receive the proper care that is crucial to this population. If you are able to find such a specialized unit, you may find that the staff is more familiar with his behaviors and are better equipped to deal with them as they come. A good site to use for locating nursing homes is www.memberofthefamily.net. It might be a good idea to browse through the list of facilities available in your state, and contact them individually to find out if they have specialized dementia care units. If you are able to find a few, try scheduling a tour with them and speak with the unit managers to get a sense of how they would respond to situations your father has experienced in the past. Whatever direction you decide to take, keep up with your search and don't give up. You are doing a very important thing and your father is very lucky to have you advocating for him.
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Thanks for posting your question Kathy. Sounds like you have a bit on your plate and it can be very trying to find a solution for everyone.
In addition to the information the AFA Social Services Team has provided, you may also want to turn to some of the national associations for guidance and help. Look through our Web Resources page for links to the various sites.
As well, it is crucial that you try to get support for yourself. Caregivers need to remember if they don't take care of themselves, they won't be able to care for their loved ones. See some of our tips in the Caregiver Center.
Hope this helps and let us know how things progress.
All the best, sue (moderator)
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Kathy- I am experiencing the same problem now with my husband- he has become combative and and making advances toward other women in the nursing home he is in - I have been advised he may need to move to a lock down facility with a specialized alsheimer's unit - I thought I had found one but after receiving the paperwork from the nursing home he is in they tell me he needs to go to a physicatric hospital for an evaluation and get him on the right medicines . I am on an emotional rollercoaster -
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