Dad is 76, formally diagnosed w/Alz 5 yrs ago, but had begun long before that. My mom, also 76, was his caregiver all those yrs and refused help, even support groups. 3 mos ago he became violent and we only found out on Fathers Day when we saw the bruises on Mom's throat, arms & face. When confronted, she admitted Dad had tried to strangle her on a number of occasions, grabbed her wrists and bent her hands backwards and sprained them, slapped her (fortunately w/open hand) so hard that it knocked her to the floor, etc. My brother spent that night w/them and Dad almost strangled him...he called E911 and had Dad transported to the ER, from there he went to a behavioral ctr. They put him on Depakote, increasing the dose to 500mgX3/day which made Dad sleep most of the time. So the social worker @ this behavioral ctr said Dad was ready to be transferred to a nursing home--unfortunately, mom chose a cheap one that mismanaged Dad's meds (or were just afraid to get the meds IN him after he slapped at them). He fell trying to attack an aide who was trying to change his diaper and knocked himself out cold---another trip to the ER, then back to the nursing home. 2 nights later,he ended up trying to strangle an aide there, tossed a halfsize fridge across the room at the supervisory nurse and was sent BACK to the ER, then readmitted to the behavioral center. Just in the past month, my brother and I have lost 4 unpaid days of work and CANNOT afford to continue this path.
Problem is, Dad has now developed bedsores on his hips where he sleeps so much sitting in chairs. We have looked at so MANY places in our area (Greenville, SC) and each place tells us we NEED to get Dad out of the behavioral center and into a good nursing home---great, but after evaluation (seeing the violent episodes in Dad's chart) they usually turn him down. I printed out a list of skilled nursing homes from the Alz Assoc and we are going through them, one by one.
Any ideas, PLEASE, from ANYONE?