My father was diagnosed with dementia/alzheimers 3 years ago, and is in the moderate /severe stage. He is currently living in an assisted care private home. As he is very far from me, I am in the Chicago burbs, he is in AZ. I call him every other day and so far he remembers me, his grandchildren and my husband by name. Although he does forget the grades and ages of my kids and asks frequently several times how old and what grade they are in, he seems to be doing fairly well. I am working on having my Dad transfered to a care facility here closer to us, and he is all for it. My concern is this, will my Dad, as his alzheimer progresses, will he be prone to the aggressive/ violent outbursts that I have read about otheres having? Is this just part of the progression of the disease or does it effect some and not others? It scares me so to think of him going into this stage and how his care takers will handle it when he does. Would I be better off caring for my Dad at home with at home help for his personal care ie: showering, personal hygeine ect? I just want what is best for him and to try and minimize any suffering he may encounter. He is my hero and the 1 man I have loved all my life, to see this brilliant man, a former lawyer, poet, author, published in Whos Who law edition, to see him being broken down by this horrifying disease just reiterates the whole "lifes not fair" statement. I pray for a cure daily !
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Q: Will my Dad (82) develop aggressive/violent behavior?
Alzheimer’s disease is considered a progressive neurodegenerative illness, which means that the illness causes more and more brain cells to become damaged over time. The result of this ongoing brain damage is a continual loss in the ability to think and function correctly and could produce unpredictable behaviors. These behaviors could be due to the difficulty in recognizing others, communicating thoughts correctly, or understanding the words of others. This can result in frustration and based on the level of impairment you may see changes in personality, such as mood swings and irrational outbursts. The tricky part about phases of Alzheimer’s disease is that everyone progresses differently. So, it is important to be educated and knowledgeable in order to recognize and respond to each new need. Should behavioral changes, including violence or aggression, occur, it is critical to consult with your father's physician to determine the underlying causes and what interventions and/or medications might be required.
Transitions can be difficult for an individual with Alzheimer’s disease. Whether you move your father to another facility or to your home, he may have an emotional reaction during the move. He will need to get acclimated to the new environment, which may cause him to feel confused or overwhelmed. It is important that he be allowed time to get used to the living arrangement and the people, such as staff members. It is essential to make sure that if he does move to a new facility, it is equipped to handle individuals with Alzheimer’s disease. The goal would be to involve the staff or family members to assist your father and you in making the move a success. Should you decide to bring your father home, you should consider putting various services in place to assist with his personal care, ensure his safety and opportunities for activities or stimulation. You might want to consider a home health aide or an adult day program. Any transition is going to require you to provide your father with the ongoing love and support it sounds like you have projected towards him all along.
Hi I'm Daughter Inlaw from IND. First expert on this subject. But my mother inlaw has alzheimers. And has been going through this mean disease for many years. It been around 14 years with dementia and alzheimers. Over look my writing and spelling.
She had dementia for around 7 years and then came alzheimers. You got keep in mind everyone with this is different. Some do get very mean. My mother inlaw been in the nursing home for 7 around 7 years. It has been a very hard road for her.
There good days and bad one. When she had her dementia she lived in colorado. Then the family who was taken care for her.It got to hard for them. So that when her son went and said mom it is time to come home.
It was so hard on her to move here. But we did it. I think it was around 9 months then she got to stay in her home. With help that we had to put her in the nursing home.
She got so hard to take care of her. She be trying to run away to home.But where it was where she lived when she was a child.
It was so sad to see her change from night to day. And it was very hard on her.It just got so dangerous for her to be at her home with help. That why we had to put her in the nursing home. So much has happen with her lately. As of Dec 2008 she is in her last stages of alzheimers. And we know it could happen any time of loosing her.
The last 4 days she not eating well at all or drink very much. They are keeping close eye on her weight. To make sure she dont start loosing weight.She only weights now is 99 pds and not even 5 foot tall.
I say check the place out where you think your dad would be happy at. But dont weight to long. Things happen so quick before you know it. I know my husband is so upset about loosing his mom, he had her for long time.
And they are so close. See she dont talk any more and cant walk or feed her self.
It is sad!
Just make sure you can handle your dad cause you are going need help. Because it will be the hardest thing you do.
You take one day at a time. Enjoy every minute you can.
Take care.
Daughter Inlaw (from Ind)
I made a mistake on typing. To clear things up I'M NOT EXPERT ON ALZHEIMERS this is just from experience from my mother inlaw and friends and family.
Sorry Daughter Inlaw (from IND)
Hi, My father-in-law lives in Evanston, IL. I admire your love for your Dad. It is a good thing to move him nearby. It is really up to you whether he should stay with you or go to the care facility. My FIL is still at home but this home care for 24 hours is expensive and we don't live with him. Now we are with him because my husband is on leave here. Depending on the staging, for early alzheimer's, staying home with you may give you the best quality time to be with him. But as times go on, he will get worse. For now he may be ok to be moved, esp. to be near you and he will be happy enough for that. I don't think he would get violent.
My FIL gets agitated because he is into the end stage for Alzheimers. He is now at the late mid-stage and also has heart failure. This year after the hospitalization, he gets more agitated and less happier because he can no longer do the things he likes to do even if fantasy (his old scientific research or jogging or getting married again.)
But you need to think ahead in 2 or 3 years when he will get worse. Will you be able to care for him at home? When you move him to the care center at that time, it may be even harder as he won't be able to understand anymore (now he is happy to come and it is good.) Home care 24 hours is expensive and your life will be disturbed. His schedule is not like yours. He will depend on you more and more to the point you cannot work or leave him without being upset. Some people do it all the way because they are retired and have the resources or space. But it is demanding and your kids will not be able to help because he would depend on you largely. Hiring home health care service will help for part-time situation. but it will be expensive if it becomes 24 hours or more demanding.
My FIL got the AD diagnosis in Nov. 2006.He got worse and worse in 2007 and 2008. Now it is 2009 and he is really agitated. Your Dad sounds like my FIL in 2007. So it is still not too bad.
You just need to look at the whole picture and divide it by staging. he could be ok at home now but he may not. Maybe you can plan to send him to the home later and let him stay with you and see for now. (Give a trial.)
Eventually my FIL will go to a nursing home because 24 hours home care is expensive and we won't live with him later on.
Good luck,
Nina
Hi gem67, just want to add that since he is coming to the colder place where there is snow in the winter in the chicago area, he may need some adjustment. The cabin fever in the winter time can get him agitated or bored. A nursing home may have more places to go or some more activities to do in the winter time.
If he is in a nursing home, it is not your elements and you would have to visit him at times. The good thing for staying at home is that you can see him any time you want. But it takes a lot of work to help him at home.
My father-in-law gets cabin fever in the cold winter and he cannot walk easily with the snow or ice. Until March, he was very bored in the house because he has trouble walking in the snow. He get bored very easily at home. So we are think that a nursing home can be a good change for him in the future when he gets bored.
Just my 2 cents.
Enjoy your time with your Dad!
Nina
Many people with alzhiemers never become violent at all. My stepmother has been so occasionally, but I'm told it's usually a phase that will likely pass. So even if he does develop this problem, which I doubt, it probably won't last long since he's already to the moderate/severe stage without such symptoms.
My dad-83-has had dementia for 10 years and although has forgotten a lot, still has his gentle personality. i don't know much about alzheimers but have heard it changes ones personality. it is a horrible disease and i am glad you can see its the disease and not him that has changed. I found alzheimers for dummies to be helpful but it is good to move your father close to you now while he can adjust. once he is uncomfortable in his schedule and surroundings you will have difficulty moving him to another place. my prayers are with you.
Laugh as much as you can with him.
After reading your question and about your family the circumstances you related has many similarities to my life. My mother-in-law moved in with us after she was diagnosed with AD about ten years ago. She was retired college professor and lawyer and we were always concerned about the drastic changes which would come with this illness. She is in what I would consider the moderate/severe stage with need for constant supervision or she will wonder off and assistance with all self care needs. Aggressive/violent behavior has been mild thus far with more aggressive behavior being demonstrated verbally, more out of frustration than aggressiveness. She attends a day respite program which was been wonderful for her and for us to realize that this disease looks very different for each person who is diagnosed with it.
Good luck to you and your family as you travel this journey with him.
If I may -
Each person's behaviors are different.
Medicine is a life saver and works for aggreession, having a calming effect.
He is doing well, isn't he? Do you give him pictures of everybody, labeled?
Hell, I can't remember the grades, and sometimes the ages of MY grandchildren!
It will be nice, I suspect, to have him nearby.
all best,(Ms) Rivka Levy
I admire your love,for it sounds like a smart and talented dad.My husband is in the moderate severe stage.He was and electronic engineer and a landlord and investor.He is still very strong he scaled and 8 ft. fence at his carehome.I to tried to keep my great husband home,however he would try to go home day and night.He would thow,away the bills,break the telephone and such.The deciding factor,was the day he twisted my arm for the car keys.The thing is ,that ,i can visit him ,as much as i want,or take him out on good day's.If you take on the care of your dad,please take him to day care or bring in respite from time to time...and know there are medicines that can help keep him calm...good luck,and god bless.
I'm going to be brutally honest. Keep your Dad in the home, a closer one is fine. This desease sucks. He'll get violent eventually, drugs do nothing and the some good days, some bad days become all bad days. If you have a wife, a child -- he will hit them. For no apparrant reason. And will keep on hitting them until you intervene and then will hit you.
I live with my dad fulltime and my mother. I could be two feet away and he'll just whail on my mom for no reason. No idea how many times I've had to tackle my dad to keep him away from my mom. Even if we did have the money not one place would take an Alzheimer person who is violent. They couldn't do any better than we can. Sure you can call 911 but they'll keep him in a facity for a day and then he goes back home. All drugged up as well. They don't care.
Anyone that says they have something to control their loved one and it's bearable is bull ****ing you. Nothing you can do. My Dad is 78 and everytime I look at him I want to punch him in the face. And this is a man who was sweet my whole life. It's hard to have this attitude but like at the moment and the past couple years (at his worse) sucks. Do yourself a favor and keep him in a home.
Good luck and God bless.
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